A Court of Hope and Anguish

Four

I held her in my arms as we soared across the deep green canopy of the Illyrian forests. How she had managed to get this far from the city was beyond him. His shield against the brisk cold wind a glowing ruby. He looked down into her face a sunken in tired look on her sleeping features, but still beautiful.  Her sucked in a ragged breath as he remembered the unmarked grave he paid visit too for the memory of his mother. He had lost her, and he had almost just lost Nesta. He pulled her close and shot faster toward Velaris.
   When he arrived on the rooftop of nestas crap apartment Cassian didn't even stop to grimace at the poor state of the building before going to her apartment, and hopefully to bed. Walking in the door he flinched back hard. The smell of vomit, old beer, and rotting food filled his nose so heavily.
   He coughed and scrunched his face in distaste as he walked into the main room. Her bed against the wall between to large windows drawn closed. Light streaming in from the bathing room and other windows left open.He placed Nesta on the bed folding the thick scratchy fabric over onto her. She seemed to curl into the warmth of the bed, small strains of disheveled hair falling across her face and over the contours of her sunken cheeks. He reached down slowly and brushed them behind her pointed ear. Her lips so pale, and the dark circles so purple. His heart let a sorrowful song of guilt dance across his chest. He should have been more assertive. He shouldn't have let it get this far. She had saved him, saved everyone in a way. From Hybern twisted bastard of a king. Had thrown herself onto him to save him. Or to go down with him.
  He had known then and even before, the day he had meet her. That he would never forget her. That Nesta Archeron would be someone that he would go to the depts of hell for, without hesitation.
  Realizing he had been staring at her for too long now he turned and surveyed the apartment. He grimaced at the full state of the place. Bottles everywhere, Trash littered about, the small kitchen area reeked like food gone rotten. How could she choose to live this way? No. If she was to get better the first thing she would need is a safe place to do so. Not even the conditions he himself had to endure as a bastard in the war camps were this, filthy. He found a bag from the liquor store and proceeded to clean.
   While cleaning wasn't Cassian strong suit, he forced himself to pick up even the smallest piece of trash, in both rooms she seemed to reside. Rhys and Az would have laughed for ages if they could have seen him when a mouse ran across the toe of his boot and was startled. So much so he fell back a bit ; quickly fixing himself and checking to see that no one saw.
  Cassian had thrown up at the sight of the toilet. Day old vomit laid swirling in the bowl, but he flushed and scrubbed it out to rid of the stench, along with all the food in the fridge.
  Once he had done that he sat on the edge of the bed, watching Nesta sleep. A sudden message from Rhys using that power of his told him that they needed to speak. A anxiety filled him at the thought of leaving her but Rhys sounded upset and urgent. He settled on writing  her a small note saying he would be back soon and not to do anything stupid. Leaving it on the bed next to her he left with haste off to the town house.

   When Cassian arrived everyone was still there despite the now dark skies. Everyone was tense and Rhys stood next to the fire Feyre sitting next to mor. Amren and az on the plush couch.
  "What was so urgent?" Cassian grumbled to no one in particular. Rhys looked him up and down before giving him that look that meant something had him nervous.
" a pub downtown was destroyed today, right before you left today. We have determined the city isn't under threat." He said sliding his hands in his pockets. Cassian rubbed his head lazily. " we also wanted to know why you took off so suddenly? You aren't known to miss dinner Cassian." Rhys quipped playfully but the question clear enough. Cassian hesitating but let out a sigh.
  " What, you miss me that much? I thought your mate would keep you busy Rhys." He countered with an equally playful tone. "But you know as a male when the need arises " he winked at again no one in particular. The worried tension seemed to dim and Feyre walked with Elaine up the stair after she kissed Rhys and bid everyone good night. Amren also stood eyeing Cassian suspiciously as bid everyone good night. Mor to fall soon after, as she had a meeting at the court of nightmares in the morning, she deemed a early nights rest a good idea.
Soon all that was left was the trio. Cassian seemed to dance by the door itching to get back to Nesta, afraid she may try to jump off the roof next. Az was quick to spot this and glowered lightly at him.
" what is it? I rarely find you this on edge even on the battle field." He said cooly. Rhys stares at Cassian in agreement. Cassian sighed and walked to sit on the edge of the couch.
  " Could you handle the war camps for a few days. I have some private stuff to deal with. It's urgent. Also do you think I could borrow some things from the house." Cassian said finding it hard to find the right words, not feeling up to snarking back at his friends. Rhys looked to Az and then back to him and nodded.
" yeah we can manage that but only if you tell us what's going on." Rhys said concerned. Cassian played with the syphons on his hands his stare cold and distant.
   " it's Nesta. You can't tell Feyre or Elaine. Not yet. She..." he trailed off trying to find the words. " She somehow wound up in the woods north of here. And she jumped off, she tried to kill herself. I felt it through the.. bond we share." He said gesturing to his head. Rhys looked equal parts understanding and horrified. Az seemed to freeze in time but managed a nod.
  " what do you need?"Rhys asked. Cassian quickly gave him a small list of needs and like that they were packed up and ready for him to return to Nesta.
   " I can't promise how long I can keep this from my mate. But I'll give you a little time.Az and I will take care of the war camps for now." Rhys said and Cassian nodded In thanks.
  " Make sure the girls are getting their fighting training in." He said referring to the female warriors in the camp. Rhys gave a sharp nod, and with that Cassian flew back to Nesta. He hoped and prayed that she was still there when he got there.