A Court of Hope and Anguish

Nine

Nesta would kill who ever decided it was okay to get up this early. The sun was just peaking over the horizon. The reds and purples in the sky a radiant splendor. She had hauled the ilyrian Leathers on this morning and ate some of the hot porridge that was waiting on the table. She wasn't sure who had made it but it was good regardless.

When she walked out of the house the camp was already bustling. Cassian stood in similar leathers with his hair tied back like it had been yesterday. His back was too her as he talked to a group of females. All wearing copies to her own gear. They had their full attention on cassian. Nesta took the moment to observe the camp. Like he had told her once. Know all exits and ways out if needed. Keep keen observations of her surroundings. She marked all the roads out on either side of the camp. The Buildings and tents. She had slowed to memorize it for just a moment.

Cassian called her name. Her head whipped to the sound of it. He stood a hand on his hip, back no longer to her she walked briskly towards him. She was suddenly glad she had taken time to braid her hair up around her head and out of her face. All the women had done the same.

Their complexations were the same as Cassians. With various small variations. Two of the women stood tall and looked as if they were copies of each other. Cold and penetrating glares on their faces. Nesta Mirrored the expression as she stood in line.

"next time try not to be late." He said with little kindness in his voice. She knew It wasn't meant to be personal, but she just nodded and tried not to feel the sting. He began to inform the girls of new routine. They were to train tell after lunch and then they were to report to their families for chores and afternoon meal prep. Nesta had forgotten what her sister had said. It came back to her like a avalanche. Women in the ilyrian ranks were seen as less. They were property to their families. It was a privilege to be trained as the men were.

And She had just walked in with none of those weighing expectations.

Nesta swore that noon would never come. Her lungs burned and her limbs were sore. Strands of her hair were across her sweaty brow. It got warm towards 11 as spring rolled in. They had spent the morning running laps, practicing forms, and proper educate. It had been brutal. She didn't realize how weak she was. The other ladies were leagues ahead of her and considered this a catch up. Nesta had hardly been able to keep up.

To his credit cassian hadn't laughed at her once as she was expecting him too. He actually hadn't looked at her much at all. He came to correct her form once and moved on. Letting them practice with each other. Quite frequently She had seen him called away to give orders the men who stopped to cat call or holler insults at the women.

She now leaned up against a fence with a glass of water that a small girl had given her. The cold water a nice reprieve.

Nesta leaped a bit as scared hand shot from behind her. It held out a small towel. She turned and her gaze was met by a man she hadn't seen before. His black hair shaved to look faded up the sides and longer locks pulled back into a bun on the top of his head. His skin darker then cassians. But the thing that stood out the most were his blue white icy eyes. they seemed to stare through her as they locked with hers. A shiver went down her spine as she looked away.

"Sorry darling." He said with a strange accent. Not the same as cassian or Azriel. It was like its velvet cousin. Similar but different. She took the towel and used it to dry the sweat off her brow. "I didn't mean to startle you. Its not every day you see high fae in the camps. Especially a beauty like you." He purred and goose bumps prickled up her arms.

"It seems I will be here tell further notice." She said back with little warmth. He gave a cocky smile. His eyes roaming her slowly. She wasn't sure if she should run away and call for cassian or let this go on. Her blood seemed to boil at the thought of cassian ruling over her because another male talked to her. So she squared her shoulders and kept her eyes locked on his as they stood in silence.

Minutes seemed to pass before he laughed and stood from were he leaned on the fence.

"I like you. My names kai." He mused at her. She huffed and didn't let anything but cold indifference rule her face.

"Nesta." She said curtly. His eyes seemed to flare. She braced herself for the recognition she had been wordlessly anxious about. But it was gone in his eyes as fast as it had come.

"Nesta..," He said more to himself. Like he was tasting how the name seemed on his tongue. The way he purred it had nestas breath catch in her throat. The heat from yesterday morning stirring in her.

As if he could smelll it his eyes got the same gleam as cassians had. He went to speak but stiffened and stood tall. The sun seeming to disappear behind her. No not disappear. Blocked. She spun on her heals and crashed into cassians chest. His face was like hardened steel as he stared at kai. Cassians wings broad and open in a way that reminded her of how birds tried to intimate competition. Cassians syphons glistened as he stood in his menacing pose.

Kai quickly bid his farewell as he turned and found that he had things to attend too. At that nesta glared up at the dumb bird brain in front of her.

"Why did you do that!" She growled at him. He looked down at her like he was ready to kill. She scoffed and ducked under his wings and past him. She didn't get far before a warm strong hand caught her arm. Not with any force but just strong enough to get her to stop. She halted and looked back. The afternoon sun high in the sky.

"What were you doing with that high born prick." He said with ice in his voice. Nesta felt her own icy rage build up to match his own.

"Its none of your business cassian. Now let go of me." She snapped with venom. he let go and hurt seemed to cross his face but was quickly covered by anger.

"He has a reputation. Stay away from him." He said with strict command. Nesta let out a laugh that had no sense of happiness or joy.

"I am not part of your underlings cassian. I am not for you to control. I can do what I please. Leave me alone. You only care about me because of the promise you made to my sister. I wish you had just left me alone. I was happy before you came into my life. But no you have to keep disturbing me with your crap." She said. Knowing her words cut deeper then she ment for them too. He didn't bother to hide the hurt in his eyes. She didn't mean them but the hole in her chest had felt the need to lash out. She hated the fact that sleeping in the same bed with him had given her a sense of safety. Had given her a reprieve from those nightmares. Had given her a few moments where she felt like that dark wasn't going to swallow her.

It started to settle back in now. That darkness in the gaping hole in her chest. The one she was certain would never heal. She took a step back from cassian as he took in a deep breath and walked away. Away from her and away from what she had just said. Now nothing but empty air lay between them.

She needed something. Anything. Just something. Kais Blue eyes echoing in her head. She took one stride forward and set off in her quest. Fighting back her tears.