A Court of Hope and Anguish

Ten

THANK YOU GUYS FOR 2k! much love!! - Rose

She had stalked around the camp for what seemed like hours. She finally settle at the base of an old tree. Nesta had walked until she could no longer hear the sounds of the camp. Sighing deeply, letting her cold exterior melt; placed a hand on the dark bark and ran her fingers down the pattern and flaking surface. She gritted her teeth and balled her fist.

She didn't know how to relay how she felt. Years of guilt, yearning for the tree on her fathers estate. Yearning to see her fathers face one last time. She had hated him. hated him so horribly for what he had done. Or rather what he failed to do for those years. Hated herself for how she failed her sister. How one sided she had been.

She picked up her hand and let it hit that tree full force. The pain from the reverb made the side of her hand sting. She let out a breathy sob before she hit the tree again and again. That curling power that writhed and craved to be set free burned through her in a cold rage. Her vision blurry from tears she ripped away the restraints on that power.

Her skin seemed to feel like a frost scored across her. Her breath and the air around her seemed to pause as she exhaled and the large tree erupted in bright white light. No not light. White and blue tinted flames. It made quick work of the tree as she stood there looking at her hands then up at the blaze. She swore she could see and feel all the nicks and gouges that littered her heart. Each moment that had left a crack.

Cassians face flashed in her mind and in that cold flame. His face as he swore to her that he wanted to have more time. That he loved her, that he would find her in another time. His face from the other morning. Then She saw his back. His laugh as he walked arms linked with the Morrigan. He had never come to see her before the solstice. Hadnt kept his promises. Left her there to be swallowed up whole. That darkness, the reason she had wanted to jump off that cliff. The hallow where she would think her soul would fit. Eating all happiness.

His smile had once made her happy and even angry at times but it made her feel. Now she felt sour, because that smile had never been for her. "Mate" or not. He would never had bothered if he didn't make that promise to her sister. Everything he made her feel was just her need to fill that hole. Nothing more.

She cursed herself as she dug deeper and deeper. Her hands like talons of frozen flame.

"Nesta?" A voice shook her from her endless thoughts and just like that the monster was again silent. Flame gone. Her head snapped up.

"Kai." She said desperately hauling her cold wall back up. She squared her shoulders and dusted tree ash off her leathers and hair. He leaned up against a tree a few feet away. She hadn't heard him. His eyes roamed her body, much like he had earlier. His eyes a similar color to the flames that the tree had been. They seemed to slice through her like he could see everything. An ashy distaste filled her mouth.

"I couldn't find you in the camp and smelled the burning of the wood and came to investigate." He said cooly but with a arrogance she couldn't place. She simply nodded turning to look at her shoes that now were coated with ash.

" Was there something you wanted kai?" She asked with a similar tone. Her eyes going back up to lock with his. He shoved a hand into a pocket and smirked.

"Our conversation got interrupted by that douche. Who is cassian to you anyway." He questioned pointedly. She took a second to think. They weren't officially mates, nor would they ever be if she had anything to say about it.

"You could call him a appointed keeper." She said with little emotion. She looked at him waiting for him to give his reason. His smiled didn't falter as he swaggered over to her. He was a few inches shorter then cassian but she still had to look up at him.

"So he wouldn't mind if I took you for a drink later this afternoon?" He asked slyly while measuring her reaction. She sucked in a breath and shook her head.

"No. he wouldn't. But I might." She countered. He looked a bit taken back and then schooled his own face. He looked down at the smoking embers of the tree and then back to her with a cocky smile he always seemed to dawn.

"What would a simple Ilyrian like me have to do to get a beautiful fae like youself have to have drink with me? " He cooed in a way she didn't know if was mocking or genuine. She let out an exhale she didn't know she was holding and crossed her arms.

"Take me back to camp and never speak of what you saw here." She demanded regarding him with a glare. He swopped down in a bow before scooping her up with ease.

"That I can do darling." He purred next to her ear. She shivered at the breath and his scent flooded her senses. He smelled mint, hints of lavender, and blood? She scrunched her face in confusion but shook it off as the camp came into view.

He landed with a powerful ease. They were right infront of the house as he put her down. Cassian stood a mere few feet away with his arms crossed. A looked that could kill plastered on his face. His whole demeaner leaked anger and dangerous auras. Nesta rolled her eyes as she turned to kai.

"Thank you." She said curtly. She went to turn but Kai caught her by the elbow. His hold tight and could hurt her if he wasn't careful. She looked at his hand before his face. That lazy cockiness still eveident there. She could hear a growl erupt from cassian.

"Ill be here soon after nightfall to get you for that drink. A deal is a deal." He said with a smooth ease. She nodded before ripping her arm away from him and walking towards the house. She didn't look at cassian as she walked past him and into the house. He followed her and slammed the door behind him as he did.

"Where were you." He growled. Softer then he had at kai. But the sound so similar to the other morning that it sent shivers up her spine. She paused and looked him. His face sparking those memories, those thoughts from the forest. She clenched her fist and just narrowed her eyes at him.

"I couldn't find you. Its your first day nesta and your already causing trouble. And why are you covered in ash." He scolded her, his hands flying up in frustration. She clenched her jaw and took a deep breath but did not move or speak.

"Well?" He said with a flabbergasted expression. She let out a curt laugh and looked away then back at him.

"I told you cassian. I don't need you to babysit me. I can do what I want. Why don't you go and run back to Morrigan." She seethed. The words falling out before she could think. "You seem to like her better anyway."

"What?" He asked a looked of baffled confusion on his face. "What does mor have to do with this." Nesta laughed again. This time it was dark and full of anger.

"You don't think I didn't see when the battle was over. That after you said all that about wanting more time and how you felt. You went with her. You smiled and laughed with her. You didn't stay. " She said not trying to hide her anger. her hurt. He looked taken aback at the words. He opened his mouth to speak but she didn't give him a chance. She turned on her heels and stalked up the stairs.