A Court of Hope and Anguish

Eight

welcome back loves. Sorry I haven't been. Finally got out of an abusive household! So I am getting back into what I love. Look forward to many more updates!- Rose

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Cassian was back within an hour as he promised. Nesta had packed a bag and sat nervous on her bed. She was rigid and fidgeting when he knocked on her door. She rushed a bit too quick from the bed and answered the door. She would never admit it but the anxiety of him not returning knawed on her. As he strode in, wearing full Illyrian leathers she bristled more.

"Is everything okay?" She asked with a tone of worry. Her sisters on that battle field flashed in her mind and her blood went cold. He grabbed her bag and turned to her.

"If I wasn't mistaken that is worry I sense." He said in a playful but somehow still questioning way. Nesta pursed her lips and looked anywhere but him. That smirk so stark compared to the savage look from earlier that morning. It had been gracing her thoughts more then she liked. She cursed herself then him for it. She didn't know that it would have caused such a reaction. The thought of it made her feel dizzy on her feet.

"Everything is fine. Devlon is refusing to let the females train as he was instructed by his high lord, and my orders. I don't take disobedience lightly. Especially on this. And since I cant trust you to be on your own for long I am taking you with me. Im not risking breaking my promise to feyre." He said taking two large strides, coming up right in front of her. She looked up at him, collecting the cold rebuttal that she would shoot him down with. She refused to be baby sat by him. She was independent, perfectly capable of being on her own. She opened her mouth to tell him so but he spoke before she could.

"Plus some training will do you some good. Since you never took my offer to train with me. You will get plenty when we get there. Rhys has called ahead and cleared his mothers old house for us to stay. We may be there for a while." He said with a edge to it. Letting her know that it was final. No room to fight it. And she fought with herself on if she would have asked him to take her anyway. She pinched her face in contorted distaste before nodding.

After they met Azriel and he winnowed them to the camp, nesta had made home in one of the small bedrooms upstairs. The sounds of sparring and daily noise outside her window reminded her of the war last year. She bit her lip as she breathed in and out. Maybe cassian was right, Not that she would ever say that. She may have been able to save her father if she had just had more training.

The thought of her fathers dead body, the burned patch of grass, the prayer feyre said. Bile boiled up in her throat but she held it down as cassian entered the house. She could sense he was angry. She stiffened as he walked up the stairs.

Once outside her door, he paused. A soft knock sounded on her door and she stood. Answering the door. She looked up at him. His hair wet but tied back to keep it from his face. Small locks of hair in his face.

" you look like a Shaggy dog left in the rain." She snipped. She took in a breath and grimaced. "You smell like one too." A serpentine smile blossomed on his face and his eyebrows bounced as he leaned up against the doorway.

"You should come give me a hug then. You know you would like it. Since you cuddled me half the night." He said in a flirtatious tone. Nesta flushed.

"it was cold. Its not my fault you are hotter then a log fire." She hissed at him. She went to slam the door but he caught it. A cocky smirk on his lips. He took a second to look her up and down before looking at her flushed cheeks.

" ah so you think im hot do you?" He cooed at her, a playful expression. She went rigid and ground her teeth.

" No that is not what I meant. I wouldn't find a smelly over grown bat like you attractive. I have standards." She spat. Her frustration and embarrassment evident on her face. He let out a bellowing laugh and then crossed his arms, still resting against the door frame. She huffed and glared at him.

"Was there a reason you wandered up here." She said coldly. His smile dropped and his eyes went serious.

"Im taking the responsibility for the girls training for a while, at least tell devlon gets back from a meeting of the lords from the area. I want you to train with us. I have training leathers for you downstairs. We start tomorrow. " He said with a seriousness. The red faded from her cheeks as she gave a curt nod. She went to close the door as he retreated back a step. He stopped the door before she could close it all the way.

"I didn't say it yesterday but..' He trailed a hand on his neck. "If you need someone to talk too. I may not be the best to give you advice but ill try to help in anyway I can. I think training will help you blow off steam too. But point is I am here if you need me. All you need to do is call my name and ill be there to help you." He said with a tenderness she wasn't used to hearing. He hoped she could read in between the lines. She was his mate, well not officially. But he could feel it. He would split the world in half if she asked him too. He had almost lost her twice now. The fear of loosing her had a strange grip on his heart. If he was faced with the choice of her life and his wings. He knew what choice he'd make. But if her heart was not in the same place he would not force it. Even if the thought of her being with anyone else made him see red.

As she nodded and simply closed the door, he stood there for a minute. Breathing in her sent. remembering it and remembering that morning. waking to her stroking his wings was almost too much to handle. The look on her face as he pinned her, the need that had been running rampid through his veins. The need for her. To run his hands through her hair, to pleasure her. The need that was drown in freezing cold in remembering that she had been hurt my another male. That need replaced by a sheer blinding rage that he had to fight to quell. He wouldn't tell her but he had searched for him. Noted all things about him and was ready to kill him. Rhys had convinced him not too, it had been a ordeal of great effort.

He took in a final breath and pushed away from the door and walked down the hall and stairs. The relief of knowing she soon will be able to protect herself if she needed soothed a rough edge in his chest.