Dear Love Of Mine

Acceptance

-Scott-

"I had sex with a man." I said to Mitch as I tried to calm down.

"Oh Scott. Where are you?" I sighed deeply and responded.

"I'm home now, but I woke up in a different house this morning. I looked over to see a naked man laying next to me. When he woke up, I asked him what happened." A tear slid down my cheek as I remembered the man kicking me out shortly afterwards because his wife was coming home.

"Aw Scottland. How do you feel about it?"

"I'm even more confused than before."

"Did you do it on purpose?"

"No. I was so drunk last night. I don't even remember."

"Ah Scott, mate. It's okay. You know, they say you're your true self when you're drunk. So that's a good sign."

"No it's not! I don't want to be gay!" I immediately regretted the words as they flew out of my mouth.

"Huh. I see. Well maybe you should deal with that yourself. Clearly you don't need me." And then, he hung up.
-
-
I tried to call Mitch but he wouldn't answer. I felt so bad.

I curled up in my bed thinking about how I felt. I feel more confused now than ever. I really like boys, but I don't want to. I'm lost. I need Mitch.

"Mitch? Please answer me. I'm sorry."
"Mitchell. Please."
"Please answer me Mitch."
I was calling him over and over.
"Mitchy please. I need you."

I give up.

-Mitch-

I decided not to answer Scott's calls. What he said wasn't right and kinda hurt my feelings. I know he's going through a tough time, but that doesn't mean he can make me feel bad about who I am because he feels that way.

After Scott kept calling me, and calling me, I decided to answer.

"What Scott?"

"Oh thank goodness you picked up! I'm sorry Mitch. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean it. I was so messed up inside that I just lashed out and I'm sorry. Please. Forgive me?" I sighed deeply and shook my head.

"Please talk to me, calmly, about how you're feeling."

"Okay. I'm scared. I'm scared that I may be gay. Not that it's an issue but I just don't wanna disappoint anyone."

"You're not going to. You're just the same as always."

"I don't know Mitch. I'm scared."

"I know Scotty. I know." I closed my eyes as I listened to him breathe deeply on the other line as he thought about what to say.

"Mitch? Can I admit something to you, and myself?"

"Sure Scottland." I sighed as I waited for him to speak.

"I'm gay."