Moonchild

Sixty Three

I didn't think Lukas could get any more protective than he already is... But the moment I went down he was immediately by my side and no one else was allowed to touch me.

I had been careless with myself, and while I would normally keep track of how I move to avoid causing myself internal irritation with the way my endometriosis pain has me all tangled up with all of its thorns... But I had kicked out my leg half-hazardly, and when it had hurt I had yanked it back without thinking about my balance... Hence the now painfully swollen rolled ankle I'm now sporting...

Lukas hadn't hesitated in snapping me up off the floor after double-checking with me to make sure I didn't think anything was broken, and off to the clinic he had taken me... Which is where we are now...

I hadn't known where the pack clinic was... I've never actually taken the time to explore the territory or the reservation very well... Even if the clinic really would be more counted as something I should be aware of for my health issues than it would be as part of just getting to know the lay of the land.

It had been close enough that Lukas was able to carry me half running in order to get here faster than if we would have taken the truck, but the slight bounce to his hurried steps had not made it the most comfortable mode of transportation, though... It does make me kind of happy that Lukas was so focused on getting me to help this time that he didn't choke... I had thought maybe after witnessing me pop a cyst when I first got here that he would find himself frozen like that every single time something bad happens that may seem a little scary... But he hadn't...

Daddy had taken care of me...

...

Lukas

...

Seeing Aurie perched in a hospital bed is a sight that makes my stomach churn... Even if we are only here for a rolled ankle. Rolled... Not broken... Not... Broken...

He had gotten hurt on my watch... I knew he was upset and that his head wasn't really where it should have been for him to be dancing the way he was... And now he's in a hospital bed waiting on a nurse to finish wrapping his ankle up and telling us to make sure he takes it easy for the next couple of days...

I know that by the end of the day the joint won't even be swollen and that him resting for a few days is just that, resting his body after his accelerated healing mends the damage from the unnatural twisting that had taken place what still feels like just seconds ago... But I feel guilty and like I should be holding him even though at the same time I don't deserve to hold him because instead of asking him to not bottle up the tidal wave of conflicting emotions that had been threatening to overwhelm him... I hadn't pressed the need for him to talk about things because if he wasn't ready to talk then he wasn't ready to talk... I should have suggested going back to the house for ice cream or something full of saturated fat and carbs for comfort eating just this once... And now my mate is in a hospital bed...

"But he'll be okay? It'll heal?" It's the fourth time I've asked in the last hour... But I feel responsible... Like no matter what I do I can't keep him safe...

"Lukas... Daddy... You need to calm down, please... It's a rolled ankle. Not the end of the world." It takes a second for the second word to register in my brain, but once it does I use it to ground myself just a little bit so I can take a moment and relax my brain so that when his pale hand reaches out for mine I can sit forward and take it, and remind myself that I need to be the one offering comfort to him, and not worrying over whether or not I just ended his entire career before it's even started and if he'll blame me for it.

...

Aurie

...

"I'm sorry, Baby... I... I just want to make sure that you're okay... That looked painful..." I know that Lukas means well... But the rolling of my ankle is not nearly as painful as being here... In the clinic itself... With his questions prolonging the nurse as she continues to wrap my ankle up and give us care instructions for the next few days... I really don't like people touching my feet... Or seeing the bottoms of them... And I've had to put up with both just now for the sake of ensuring that my ankle isn't going to heal set in the wrong position and make it harder to practice until the kink works itself out.

"It was... But I'm fine. They've given me pain meds, and I already know to stay off my feet with it elevated for the next couple of days, so please, let Nurse...Amanda go already so she can get together the discharge paperwork?" I know that Lukas himself is stressed out at the moment from our very long day... But I need him to calm the hell down, "It could have been worse, but it wasn't. So I need you, and everyone else to relax or I won't be able to relax."

The look that comes my way from Lukas is so sincere it almost brings out the tears I had just barely managed to hold back when I had felt my ankle crumble... And he finally lets out the tension that he's been holding in his shoulders, the chair he's in being scooted closer to the bed so that he can hold my hand properly before nodding to Nurse Amanda that his questions are done with, and I'm finally able to start painting a more accurate mental picture of what it's going to be like when Lukas starts coming to appointments with me... He'll probably be surprised at first with how often I need health checks... Most of them required by the school and written into my scholarship contract to ensure that I'm looking after myself and that the workload isn't too much for my body to handle... But also the unexpected ones... Like right now for my ankle... And I'm sure that we'll end up here at least once more during the break for me to get IV fluids and morphine for when I run into pain that the weed can't handle, or if I pop a cyst and end up painted black and purple again and need to come to get checked for internal damage...

But I think maybe... Just maybe... Lukas will be like Cricket when he first started tagging along so that I wouldn't have to face everything alone... Calm and even once he's accepted the situation... Someone steady that I can latch on to, just like he always is... He may be a little freaked out at first while he adjusts to my normal... But I think that he'll actually stick around... Well... That is... If I'm selfish enough to stick around...