Little Cigars Little Muffins: Racetrack Higgins

Chapter Ten

After we finish our muffins we begin to take a nonsensical route through the park. To the outside world we probably look like maniacs, stumbling over ourselves and laughing hard enouy tears begin to form. I couldn't imagine a more perfect night. Being with Racetrack makes allows me to forget my problems, it makes being without him harder.
Don't get too attached, it's only the second date.
"We are almost there" Race says bring me back to reality.
"I didn't realize there was a destination" I say stepping over a small stream. Where ever we are it is certainly off the normal path.
"Well old people always say it's about the journey not the destination" Race starts, "but in this case it is also about the destination".
After a little more walking we come into a small clearing with a sheet covering the ground. It's perfect. Race takes my hand and leads me down to the sheet.
"Do you like it?" Race says looking me in the eyes. Our faces are incredibly close together and his blue eyes just keep pulling me in. I am under his trance completely forgetting the question, all I know is that our lips must connect. I briefly disconnect our hands and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Our lips connect, but I realize quickly that it isn't how I imagined it being. Instead of a sweet taste I wanted I am greeted with a pungent taste of ash. Almost unbearable, almost. Although the feel of this kiss is amazing, it has me hesitate to pull back. I eventually do, and I am almost pulled back in for another.
"Do you have gum by chance" I ask, hoping that I do not offend him.
"Trust me you don't need it" Race says, trying again to pull me in.
"No, you taste like ash" I say, maybe a bit too harshly. Race let's go of my waist and I whimper slightly at the loss of touch.
"Oh" he looks devastated.
Can I say anything to make this better. Probably not, but it is worth a try. "If you can steal cigars, what's some gum" I say, prying to lighten him up, but it doesn't seem to work.
"I'm not like you, stealing isn't my answer" Race says. That's a little harsh.
"Excuse me" I raise my voice, "if I don't do want I do, I would be living on the streets". Shit, he lives on the streets. The realization hits me as I see the hurt rise in Race's eyes. "No, I didn't mean it that way" softening my tone.
"You ment exactly what you said" he lets out a breath, "there is nothing wrong with living on the streets".
I can't believe I said something so stupid. I attempt to pull him into a hug, but he scoots away, mumbling something under his breath.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking".
"Save it" he begins to get up.
"Anthony wait" I say causing him to turn around.
"Don't call me Anthony" and with that he is gone, leaving me alone in the park.
It's dark out, it isn't safe to walk home alone. Why was I so stupid, why couldn't I have thought before saying something for once. I really thought that with enough time Race and I could be something real. However I just had to mess this up. It takes two to tango, he did start it. He knows I have to steal but he still critiqued me anyway. No don't blame him, don't blame you. I'll see him tommorow. I part my lips slightly to taste salt, a tear.