Friday Night Dinner

Grandmas and Stairs

"Hello, bambino! Esme!" Martin said as we pulled up. He was outside, rummaging through boxes.

"You alright, dad?" Jonny asked.

"I'm looking for the bloody present my mother gave me ages ago." He said. Jonny groaned.

"Don't say horrible Grandma is coming for dinner?" Jonny said.

"Okay." Martin shrugged.

"Is she?" Jonny said, impatiently.

"You just told me not to say." Martin said, obviously confused. Jonny groaned again and walked inside.

"Mom! Is horrible grandma coming?" He asked.

"Unfortunately." She answered. Jonny groaned for the third time.

"Mom! Is horrible grandma coming for dinner?" Adam said as he came in. I got Deja Vu.

"Yes, boys, but be nice. Don't stoop to her level." Jackie said.

"I'm guessing horrible grandma is..." I said.

"Horrible." The boys and Jackie finished for me.

The doorbell rang and Jackie groaned as she went to open it.

"Jackie, you need to pick up your slack. When the doorbell rings, you should open it within the ten seconds. You took 37 seconds." She walked in and handed Jackie her hat and coat.

"Hi, Grandma." The boys moaned.

"Boys, don't follow your mother. You'll end up being even more lazier than you are now. Who are you?" She turned to me.

"I'm Esme." I introduced myself.

"Oh, you're the Edward's girl. Terrible family. It's not even a family! Filled with arguments and disappointment." She looked me up and down. "You need to lose some weight child." She said.

"Grandma, she's not putting on weight, we're having a kid." Jonny said.

"How disgusting. How many weeks are you?" She asked.

"Fourteen." I tried to say politely.

"That's no excuse." She said. Martin's mom walked into the living room.

"Esme, I'm so sorry." Jonny turned around.

"It's fine, I just might have to keep a rock in my pocket as a just in case." I forced a smile and the others laughed. We joined Martin's mother for a night of hell.

*** dinner ***

"Well, that was some delicious squirrel, Jackie!" Martin said.

"It was inedible. Stop lying Martin." Cynthia complained.

"I thought it was lovely, Jackie." I smiled.

"And I thought you were going to be at least a little pretty. C'mon Jonathan. You can do better!" She exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" I said, offended.

"I only tell the truth, dear." Cynthia had a smug smile on her face.

"Mom, stop that right now." Martin whispered.

"I need the toilet. I'm not going to the one downstairs, it smells funny. Esme, come help me up the stairs." She ordered.

"No, Esme, you don't need to do that." Jackie said.

"It's fine, Jackie."

"Yes, it's fine, Jackie. I'm only helping the girl with her future career." She said.

"What's that now?" I glared at her.

"You'll only amount to a maid. Don't look at me like that, it's rude. Plus, I think you need the exercise." She glanced down at my stomach.

"Be careful that you don't slip. What a nasty accident that would be." I said. I helped her up the stairs, but she stopped me in the middle.

"You need to divorce my Jonny and abort the child." She whispered.

"I will not!" I yelled.

"You are not good enough. As much as he resembles his mother, you are not fit to be Jonny's wife."

"And suddenly you get to decide who Jonny marries and has his kids with now?" I shouted, everyone came out from the dining room and looked at me and Cynthia on the stairs.

"I suddenly don't need your help anymore." Cynthia turned around and sneakily gave me a nudge. I lost my footing and fell down the stairs.

"Esme!" Jonny yelled.

"Bloody hell, are you alright?" Martin asked.

"Ow." I managed to say. Jonny sat me on a step.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" I looked, but my head was spinning so fast, I couldn't tell.

"Fou- no three?" I guessed.

"Come and have a sit down, Esme." Jackie lead me into the living room. Cynthia walked back in.

"She pushed-she pushed me!" I yelled. The spinning was slowly coming to a stop.

"Don't be ridiculous. She's obviously concussed and saying stupid things!" Cynthia put on her innocent act.

"No, you told me I am not good enough for Jonny, I should divorce your grandson and abort my child!" I yelled.

"You said what?" Jackie turned her attention towards Cynthia, as did everyone else.

"I did not!" Cynthia said.

"Mom, go home." Martin said. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the door.

"I am so sorry you had to endure all that." Jackie apologised.

"It's fine, Jackie. I felt a bit bad at the end because I was shouting at an elderly lady. Then I remember how rude and sneaky she was. I can't bloody believe she pushed me down the stairs!" I rubbed my forehead and sat down.

"What a normal night." Adam said.

"Bloody normal in this house." Jonny said, sitting down next to me.

"I wouldn't change it for the world. Except the falling down stairs part." I added.

"She's bloody gone." Martin came back in.

"I love you guys." Jackie got emotional.

"Family hug!" I yelled. Everyone got up and hugged each other.