Friday Night Dinner

Girlfriends and Squirrels

As per usual, we knocked on Jackie's door on Friday evening.

"Hello you two! Ooh, this is exciting! 23 weeks aka 6 months." Jackie said. I walked into the house, and immediately had Jonny asking to take my coat and Jackie asking to take my shoes off.

"I'm okay, seriously." I chuckled. I took my coat and shoes off and walked into the living room.

"Hello, Esme. Bambino. Where's the other one?" Martin asked.

"I don't know, dad." Jonny sat next to me.

"Useless." Martin muttered as he walked out the room.

"You alright?" Jonny asked me.

"I'm fine. You know you ask that a bloody lot?" I smiled. The doorbell rang. "That will be Pusface." I said. Jackie went and answered the door, and I heard her squeal. "Is she alright?"

"Jonny, if you say that one more time, I swear." I joked. Adam walked into the living room, holding hands with a girl.

"Hello, Pusface." Jonny said.

"Flattering. Hello, Jonny. Ignore him. He was dropped as a baby." Adam told the girl.

"Hiya, I'm Esme. Jonny's wife." I smiled.

"I'm Lucy. Adam's girlfriend." She smiled back and Adam went red.

"Lovely name." Jonny relaxed in his chair.

"I would get up and say hello properly, but you know, it would take me a few hours." I joked.

"Do you know the gender?" She asked.

"No, we're keeping it a surprise." Jonny explained.

"I did ask to know, but Jonny wanted it to be a surprise and he practically begged me for days. So, I just went with it to stop the begging."

"I'm not going to confirm nor deny." Jonny said when we all looked at him.

"All we know is that we're excited." I said.

"Awe look at all of you, having a conversation." Jackie said as she came in.

"Mom!" Adam groaned.

"Best thing about having a wife that comes around for every Friday dinner, Pusface, is that you don't get as easily as embarrassed by mom anymore." He boasted.

"That's the best thing?" I said.

"N-no. That's not what I meant- I meant that-" Jonny tried to explain.

"I'm joking. Calm down." We all laughed.

"So, Lucy, what do you do?" Jackie asked.

"Oh, I'm a teacher." She smiled.

"She can also sing. She's extremely talented." Adam said.

"Well that's lovely." Jackie said.

"Esme can sing too." Jonny said. I looked at him.

"Uh, no I can't. I sound like a dog that's trapped in a washing machine." I chuckled.

"Awe, I bet you sing beautifully." Lucy said. Silence took over the room. It was so quiet that we heard the oven beeping from the living room. Jackie ran to the food.

"That most likely means dinner is almost done. C'mon then." Jonny pulled me up, and helped me to the dining room.

*** dinner ***
"This is some lovely squirrel, Jackie." Martin said.

"Thank you, Martin." Jackie said. I looked over at Lucy, who had gone pale.

"It's not actual squirrel, Lucy, it's just a little inside joke. It's just normal beef." I explained.

"Oh, thank god, I thought squirrel tasted very nice and got scared." She giggled. Adam spat out his drink.

"Urgh! Did you have to put salt in my water, Jonny?" Adam said.

"Uh, no. But I wanted to." Jonny smiled. I high-fived him under the table.

"Jonny!" Jackie exclaimed. We heard the doorbell and all knew who it was.

"Jim." Everyone except Lucy said.

"I'll go." Jonny stood up.

"I'll go with you." I said. Jonny pulled me up, and I saw Jackie put her hand to her heart and telepathically tell Martin how cute we are.

Jonny opened the door, and there Jim was, with Wilson.

"Hello, Adam. Emily." Jim said.

"I'm Jonny, Jim, and it's Esme, not Emily." Jonny corrected him. "Are you alright?"

"You've been putting on a lot of weight, Emily." Jim pointed out.

"It's because- never mind." I couldn't be bothered to explain the whole process to Jim.

"I wanted to tell you that Wilson killed a squirrel, and put it in your dining room, and then another squirrel followed it in. But, I think I saw it move."

"So, the dead squirrel that's alive and the other squirrel are in the dining room?" Jonny repeated.

"Yes." Jim answered.

"Thanks, Jim." I said as we shut the door. We hurried back into the dining room, and heard the squeak.

"Okay, so there are two squirrels in here." Jonny said. Jackie ran out. Martin didn't hear. Adam was looking around and Lucy was laughing.

"Haha, very funny. Are the two squirrels the meat? Because, mmm, delicious." She said.

"No, Lucy, there are real squirrels in here." I tried to explain, but she wouldn't believe us. I felt something on my foot, which was then followed by a bite. I yelled out in pain. "Get the bloody thing off!" I yelled. Lucy finally saw the squirrel, and ran out to find Jackie. Jonny grabbed the one squirrel, and put it outside.

"One down, one to go." Adam said.

"Shh, do you hear that?" I said. We all slowly kept scanning the room, until I looked at Martin's plate. "Martin. Your plate." I said. Everyone turned to look at the last squirrel. Both Adam and Jonny jumped for the squirrel, hitting each others heads on the way. Jonny fell to the floor, in pain.

I grabbed the squirrel and threw it outside.

*** in Jonny's old room ***
I put the cold peas on Jonny's head. We came up here to try and sort Jonny's head without any other distractions.

"Seriously, how did you manage it?" I laughed.

"I don't even know. At least you got the last one. How's your foot?" He asked.

"Fine now. Probably left a mark, that's all."

"Can you sing? It's just, I've never heard you before." Jonny surprised me.

"I don't like to say I can because I feel cocky, but I guess I'm decent? Don't ask for me to sing for you. You have to catch me in the act." I smiled.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too, but we need to stop saying it so often before it loses it's effect." I chuckled.