Regrets [l.h]

Sixteen.

Chapter Sixteen.

"You did what?" My voice booms as I begin pacing around my small room. I tug my hair at the roots, wanting to pull clumps from my skull. 

"I-she," Luke sighs.

"I'm sick of your pathetic excuses," I shake my head. "This is why she has been so hung up on you, because you two had sex?" 

It all makes sense now, why Laurie has been so hung up on Luke. They slept together, and it's hard not to think about that person and it's hard not to get attached to that person. 

I never slept with Luke, but somehow I am attached to him.

I don't want to be attached to him.

"When did this happen?" I ask, already regretting asking the question. I want to know minimal details, but just enough so that when I confront her I won't look idiotic. 

Knowing this information, I know who Laurie is now and it is not who she has pawned herself off to be. She is evil, conniving, and a bitch. I will make sure she knows who I am though, and that she won't forget who I am for a good time. 

I may be overreacting, but I thought we were supposed to be friends and I guess I thought wrong. Luke should have at least told me, because while I was getting attached to Luke, he was getting under Laurie. 

I should have known better, I should never have allowed myself to get attached to him. I should never have agreed to Misses Runnen and I should never have gotten this invested in Luke. I should never have let him kiss me, and I should never have let myself kiss him back. I should never have let him stay the night and I should never have let him tell me his past and let me learn who he could be. 

I should never have gotten to know Luke Hemmings. 

I should have let my hateful thoughts about him stay as just that, hateful thoughts. I should still hate him and I should definitely not feel how I do right now. I should not feel so betrayed, because Luke and I are nothing. 

I am nothing to Luke. 

And he has to be nothing to me. 

"A couple of days ago,"

"Great," I nod slowly, closing my eyes and putting all of my weight against my dresser. "Just leave Luke, I really don't want you here." 

"Yeah, I understand." 

"And Luke," 

"Yeah?"

"Don't come back,"

-- 

Luke's P.O.V

"Don't come back," Avery's harsh tone hides pain behind it. 

Fuck. I'm such an idiot. 

I give her a small nod, hurrying down the stairs and nearly toppling over Misses Jacobs. 

"Luke, leaving so soon?" 

"Yeah, I-I have to go fuck up again." I say, a little too honest for my liking. Jesus, Avery hates me and her mom probably does too. Her whole family will hate me by the end of the day. I would hate me too.

I sit in my car in her drive way for a while, mentally cursing myself out. 

How the fuck do I care about her so much? 

Why the fuck do I care about her so much?

I can surely say that Avery Jacobs has me whipped. I can't get anymore whipped than I already am. I need to live up to my word and not only fuck up, but get fucked up.

Drugs helped me out of my problems before Avery, they can help me with my problems with Avery. Marijuana, Ecstasy, and some alcohol should do the job. Fuck I need mental help. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I pull out of her drive way, my tires screeching as I speed down the road to get to my next destination. 

Which is where? I have no fucking clue. 

Probably Jeremy's. 

Fuck.

Probably not Jeremy's. 

Avery has taken my life and held it captive these past two months and flipped it upside down. With her, I don't mind. I don't mind that I lost the closest thing to a friend because of her, and I don't mind if I lose anymore because of her. 

This is how Avery has me whipped. 

And I am whipped bad.

I found out where I was going, and Michael's just happens to be that destination. Michael has always been my back-up, like when I would want to pound some kid's face in, I would call Michael to come with me. When I would want some weed, I would call Michael and he would have some for me. When I wanted to forget about everything, Michael still manages to be that right hand guy. 

There needs to be more Michael's in this world. 

I hop out of my car, my feet quickening their pace so I can get in that house, and get Avery off my damn mind. 

"Michael open the fucking door!" I yell, pounding my fist on the hard wood. 

"For fuck sake, hold on asshole!" Michael whips the door open, buttoning his jeans. "You interrupted,"

"Call it a quickie," I sneer. "Do you have anything? Weed? Alcohol? Ecstasy? Anything to get this shit off my fucking mind." I pace back and forth, just as Avery did less than an hour ago. Fuck. I need it. I need it now before I go insane. 

"And what art thou shit you need to get off of your mind so I know that I'm not feeding you this shit for free?" Michael smirks, he has this crooked smile that swoons all of the girls. I don't know why. They practically drop their fucking pants when he smiles.

"It's-" I haven't told him about Avery, and I didn't think there was going to be a need to tell him about Avery. "There's a fucking girl and I fucked up and I need to get it off of my mind, do you have anything or not?" I snap, becoming impatient with Michael's need to have his nose shoved up my ass when it comes to my personal life. 

"There's a girl?" Michael's jaw drops, "Luke Hemmings is pussy whipped?" 

"It's not like that, dick."

"You're seriously the last person I thought would get tied down, but I mean it make's sense." Michael shrugs, walking me over to his couch. He pulls a small baggy out of his pocket, handing it to me. Two small pills are in there, I assume that it's the ecstasy. He then pulls a much larger baggy out from a hidden compartment beneath his coffee table, a smile dancing on his lips.

"Why do you say that?" I ask while watching him sort through the multiple drugs, a little weed here, some cocaine there. No big deal.

We're all fucked up in our own way.

And we all handle those fuck ups in our own fucked up way.

This just happens to be ours.