SITA: The Peace Within

|| Departure: The Second Exile||

@Hannahstorm311      (Suggestion by)

This is a special series. A few chapters from now shall be based on Uttarkand.

We generally skip hearing stuff that doesn't please us. Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? Not until and unless you are the devoted King and Queen of a kingdom.

 Uttarkand has been more about feelings than facts. People search for words. What did Ram say? What did the washerman say? What Laxman said? What did Sita say? They hear, and form opinions. This part of the epic alone washes -all the good and all the bad for people. Ask them who killed Ravan's son Akshay Kumar- they shall fumble. Ask them how did Ram kill Bali- they might take a minute longer. But when you ask them about uttarkand- they remember each word- why? Because it finally gave them an excuse to say- Ram was not god. No man can be, after all, he was breathing just like the others did.
That's where we go wrong. It is tough to be Ram, but not impossible. It is our own shortcomings and bindings which stops us from doing the best.

I don't know if Sita knew it or not. Maybe while walking across the corridor, cradling her baby bump - she could have heard the handmaids talk in surprise. Futile rumors or may I say scandalous. I don't know!
Who cared about those people who have never in their lives crossed the boundaries of their own kingdom. But Ram did. Not out of duty alone but love as well.Only if the people had tried maintaining that forever.When Sita would have looked out of her window- thinking that finally its all good and pink- it wasn't. That in some moment her husband shall come and tell her the inevitable or a King shall pass an order. 

Sita could have been upset. She could be disappointed. She could have been hopeless. But she could not stop LOVING Ram. Period.

Ram may look cold. Ram may just think about his subjects. Ram may have felt all doors closing. But Ram could never abandon Sita. period.

These two sentences could sum up everything I want to write.

Factually- talking about Uttar Kand in Ramayana makes no sense. It was a latter addition, is different in characterizations and language. But what to do? everybody believes in it. Arguments, debates, and depictions of Uttar Ramayana has been since time immemorial. But every other person has some misinformation- on the feelings of each character during this time.
So I shall try to interpret it in a certain way:


The Departure

Sita lay in her bed- soft and warm. She had heard it all. If anybody had noticed her- she didn't care. Ram could have stopped her. Her loving and doting husband looked so upset that she felt that he would faint any time. More or so- it was a scandalous and a landmine topic about a Queen. She could remember Ram guessing the gender of the Baby she carried. And then she had suggested better to think about the names instead. It looked normal. Very normal and that was dangerous indeed. The velvet under her body was pricking so badly that she wanted to lie down on a forest floor instead. Her eyes had sucked out all tears. They were over and now she just smiled ghostly. She was afraid that she may become invisible- much to the delight of her subjects.



Sita could feel herself walk towards the pedestal- reaching the throne beside Ram. She was dressed but could not see down because some force bonded her. The people of Ayodhya were rejoicing, clapping but their voices were feeble. Suddenly she felt a cold wave of wind hit her. Ram- who was walking beside her looked so far, he wasn't looking !..he wasn't looking at her, why? Now she could hear the people clapping and dancing - but it felt scary. And then she looked around- there was no throne. She felt lonely again. She tried walking back to Ram, but before that noticed something. She was back in the clothes of her exile. That saffron Sari- she could smell her abduction- but the only change was it that it wasn't Lanka, rather her own house.

"I cannot let her go." Ram clasped his head in agony. He was all alone. The room was biting him down. The palace looked too small to accommodate his sorrow. The walls were beating against him. He had been fooled all this while. Things never went accordingly. Happiness could ring the bell of your house and then can just run away. The sound remains- until there is air and air is everywhere. He wanted to talk to his unborn- that no matter what, life shall always be unfair. That if you sleep in a starry night - then you have to wake in a thunderstorm.

Love conquers all. Its the remedy to pain- isn't it? What if you are the one who is pained- struck and slashed. Who shall love you? A doctor knows the cure but why not the patient. 

Sita sang a melody as she burned the coconut oil on a stove. Urmila had promised a body massage. Sita discarded her ornaments for the last time. She won't wear any now. It won't be needed. She smiled - as her handmaid removed her anklets. " Would she talk all that ?" Sita thought for a millisecond. The people were ill. They were patients of a wrong mindset and sadly didn't know the cure.

Urmilla punched her fingers on Sita's shoulders. Anger, Stress, and Irritation- she recited the abstracts as she put a cure to each. Then she went to her hand and pressed each finger delicately - Pain and anxiety. Sita could hear her say different things "This spot is for easy delivery, The other one shall ease the breastfeeding ..".
"Make me learn all this, Urmilla." Sita asked; her eyes closed.
"No need, I shall do it for you." Urmilla answered casually. "You don't plan to go to Mithila, do you?" She asked further.
"No, not Mithila. But desperate time calls for desperate measures." Sita chuckled wistfully.
"There won't be any desperate time now. The queen needs to know that at least." Urmilla wasn't pleased with her sister's thoughts. " Its all right now." Urmila announced.
No. It wasn't. Sita thought.

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'I am leaving tomorrow.' Sita came in the chamber to find Ram standing across the balcony. The moon was enormous but it still burned her.
'Where to?' Ram asked. He came here to forget a few things- not to remember them again.
'Sage Valmiki's ashram.' Sita announced; moving around the room in a normal routine.
Ram felt himself root on the ground. This was not anything. A bad dream indeed. And still, he knew it was inevitable.


'Who told you that.' Ram asked as he cupped his wife's face. It was as soft as rose petals. And then he could see the fine line on her skin beneath the eye, she had grown in all these years- which was absent at the time they got married.
'Everyone.' Sita's eyes glowed as if the sun had itself situated there. She smiled so faintly that Ram felt her disappear. 'No!' he screamed in fear.
'There is no other way. Raghunandan, You love me- isn't that enough?' Her corneas were glassed with tears as she intently ate him with her gaze. She could have dissolved in him then and there. And then there would have been no Sita.
'What about staying together, Sitae...' Ram's shoulders drooped. His gait looked smaller than a child. And then he realized that he was not reverting his age rather he was growing old- every passing second.
Sita had no answer for that. She opened her mouth and closed it again. Nothing could justify their pain. It was not needed.
'Embrace me.' She asked trying not to cry. Ram looked at her with all the soul which had been left in his heart. It was dying so slowly that it was important for him to look at her before it went away. Ram closed his arms around his wife and imagined how snuggly and perfectly she fit. They were so perfect. Then what went wrong?

'Tell Laxman....' Sita tried saying something. ' Sshhhh.." Ram rendered her speechless. It was all perfect- until it was quite.

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