the cut that always bleeds - haikyuu!

chapter 4

I almost dropped him and mocking voices came from all round us. Coach Ukai looked over at us raising an eyebrow, and i set down Hinata reluctantly. I saw him whisper something to Takeda, but it was inaudible from so far away.

"You fell asleep dumbass."

His cheeks turned a strange pinkish colour, probably just because it's warm.

"Oh s-sorry Kageyama, "

"HINATAAAAAAA!!!"

Lev shouted as him and the rest of nekoma followed behind.

"LEVVVVV!"

I felt a pang of jealousy as I watched Lev and Kenma hug and greet hinata, they looked so happy. Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi came towards us all to see what all the ruckus was about and a similar thing happened again. Hinata really was popular. There was something about him that just, attracted people to him. It was sort of annoying, especially when they got all handsy with him...

"Have you gotten shorter Hinata?"

"I'll have you know I've grown half a centimetre!"

—  time skip brought to you by thicc bokuto —

Hinata POV

It was an exhausting day. I didn't want to admit it, but my crazy stamina had worsened since everything happened. A time I wanted to forget. The fear i'd become like my mum or dad one day scared the shit outta me. What if crazy was genetic? It was catching up on me, the emotions of my past I'd buried along with my dad. I hoped nobody noticed anything was off. Yet I still felt so empty inside, like I'd lost something I couldn't get back.

TRIGGER WARNING - SELF HARM ,, NIGHTMARES ,, SEXUAL ASSAULT

I needed to feel something. Other than the fear and sadness, I wanted to feel. The room was dark, everyone had fallen asleep. Stifling through my bag, I pulled out the small blue box where I kept my supplies. Some bandages tumbled out as I opened the lid. I grabbed the shiny, metal blade and held it tightly in my hands. I shuffled out my blanket as quietly as possible, making sure to cast my eyes over the room one last time.

It wasn't uncommon for Tsukishima to be listening to music through his headphones way into the night, and I did not want to try and explain to him why I was still awake. My feet padded quietly over to the door, I gently twisted the handle, and tiptoed out the room. Flicking the switch in the bathroom and the dull light glitched a bit, then turned fully on. My reflection looked terrible. No matter how much I washed, I'd never get rid of his hands on my body.

I sat in a cubicle, dragging the blade against my torn up wrist. Angry little red lines scratched their way up my entire arm, a symbol of my weakness.

"You are a worthless piece of shit."

Another.

"shut up and take it."

Another.

"it's your fault."