Ten reasons -Jikook

Reason 9

19/4/8

Reason 9

I'm invisible.

Or at least that's what it's feels like.

No matter how loud I shout, it gets drowned out. The pain is just too real. The feeling of not being noticed...

Not being seen ...

It's tearing me apart. Piece by piece.

Maybe I'm not invisible.

Maybe I'm being ignored on purpose.

Maybe I shouldn't even exist.

I'm a wate of space.

I close my journal and slid it under my pillow. Now that we are going back to our dorm I can finally rest and get more private time in my room. I surely annoyed the guys during our tour and they'll be happy not seeing my ugly face all the time. They obviously won't mind me staying in my room the whole day. Trying hard to conceal my tears, I puked the sheets above my head and silently cried myself to sleep. As I slowly drifted in the darkness, my body filled up with coldness and I'm left with a stinging sensation on wrists that steadily grew stronger.

I woke up to the sound of laughing and talking coming from the living room. Slowly pulling the covers down, I heard Jungkook call for me.

"Jimin! Wake up we're leaving!" He shouted. I didn't want to be seen quite yet. I stayed silent and after a moment JK suddenly opened my door. "Hey what's wrong?" Jungkook asked, staring at me closely. I bet he doesn't care. He's only asking that because I'm the hold-up ...

"Nothing... I'm fine..." I lied, getting out of my bed in a rush. "Ok ... well could you please hurry up, Jimin? We would like to go home now." Jungkook told me, as I gathered up my things. I froze. "Then why don't you just fucking go already!" I snapped. "You're right, we don't need to wait for you. You can't take another car." Jungkook said, as he left my room.

Damn me...

I screw thing up all the time...

This why I shouldn't even be living.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean it..." I whispered out, but Jungkook was already gone.

I'm going to hurt myself...

-

I stepped inside my empty home, dropped all my bags down, and myself, knowing I'll be alone with the peace that I so desperately crave. I can't face the guys so I went to my own apartment. I couldn't look anyone in the eyes now, in fear they might see. See into my thought and what I'm planning. But would they even care? Anyway, they surely don't want me at their dorm.

"Why am I such a mess ...?!" I cried out, bringing my hands to my face. After sitting on the floor, bawling my eyes out, contemplating on when and how I'm going to get rid of myself, I slowly went to my room. My cold, silence filled room. Memories of me and Kookie lingering in my mind as I tried to get some rest.