Ten reasons -Jikook

Reason 2

19/4/18

Reason 2

I hate myself.

There.

I said it.

I can't stand the way I walk. The way I talk.

The way I exist.

Everything.

I feel like a hypocrite since we always tell our fans we need to love ourself.

I get in the way of everything and everyone. Without me people's lives would be better. There wouldn't be as much drama or anything. Just peace. In a world with no Park Jimin.

Sounds like many people would love it. I bet Jungkook most of all wouldn't min a life without me involved ...

Pretty soon my existence won't be in the way.

As I slammed my journal and look out the window. The sun started to rise. Tears started to form in my eyes and I began to think about my ending. My existence ends tomorrow. I got off of my cold bed, letting my journal and pen fall to the floor. Stuffing my hands in my hoodie, I took out my shiny little blade. "I haven't used you in a while ..." I mumbled, heading into my bathroom. I closed the door slowly, walked over to the mirror and stared at my reflection.

Wet eyes ...

Puffy eyes ...

Swollen ...

Empty eyes ...

I smashed the mirror leaving my hand cut open. I saw the blood flooding down my arm. I should scream in pain but I felt nothing. Nothing but emptiness. I'm numb. There's nothing left in my soul anymore.

One journal entry left to do ...

After that, I'm done.

"It'll be time to say goodbye ..." I sobbed out, as I sliced the blade over my wrist.

Giving myself nine cuts in honour of he nine reasons I have written down, my phone rang from my pocket. I dropped the bloody blade into the sink and stood there for a moment. The phone still continued to ring and I took it out. As I did so, my cuts were dripping blood on the floor and on my clothes. Ignoring that I answered my phone.

"What ..." I whispered weakly.

"Jimin..." Jungkook whispered from the other end.

What could he even want ...?

"I said what?!"

"... Uhm how are you? How have you been holding up lately?" He asked hesitantly.

"How have I been holding up ...?! I yelled.

"Are you really asking me that?! If you wanted to know so fucking badly you would have came here instead of giving me some pathetic fucking phone call!" I shouted into the phone.

"Jimin, I-"I interrupted Jungkook sentence by ending the call. "I'm so horrible" I chocked out in the middle of my cries.

After sitting in the bathroom for hours, watching the blood pour from my cut, I called Jungkook. "I'm fine ..." I whispered once he answered. After I said that one line. I hung up the phone.