Ten reasons -Jikook

Reason 3

19/4/17

Reason 3

False accusations.

The media always likes to attack me. No matter how many nice things I do, they dig up false information and use it to give people a wrong idea about me.

Manwhore.

That's the term many have used to describe me, but I'm not though.

Yes, I used to flirt a lot with men and women. There have been rumors about me and a twice member dating because we just didn't like each other. Then there was this situation where I had my first single vacation in France. I just wanted to forget about everything for a while and went to a bar and had fun with some locals. The media turned it into this whole story that I got totally wasted and partied with a bunch of girls.

I hate it.

Lies are always made about me. It's like I can't even have a female friend without people thinking we are dating.

News flash ...

I'm gay. I don't do females.

It's been a week since I talked to Jungkook. It really hurts thinking about him knowing that he will never be mine. Knowing that there is no hope for a faggot like me. Even I disgust myself. My heart is heavy these days. The weight on my shoulders increases every day. I can't bring myself to leave my bed. My body is heavy and I can't move. I'm numb and the only feeling that's left is pain. Why should I keep living like this? Why should I keep on fighting when letting go is so much easier?

I used to cry my heart out everyday but there are just no more tears left. The skin on my checks is rough and dry from all the tears. It would burn so much when I cried that it felt like my skin was dissolving. I did nothing since I'm home and I finally realized that it doesn't matter. Even if I stopped existing the world would keep turning. No one would realize that I'm even dead until they find my weeks old corpse in my room.

I don't even want to think about how long my corpse will be laying around here. The members are happily on vacation and Jungkook hasn't called me once so why would he suddenly call me in the future.