Boy Next Door ✔

chapter thirty-eight

C A L E B 

"Why are you up so early? Is that boy next door bothering you again?" Aunt Beth's concerned voice echoedthrough the phone.

I huffed in response, pressing my back up against the wall and slowly sinking down onto the floor, "Yeah - but for a different reason this time."

"Tell me about it," she suggested. "He better not have hurt you in anyway or I'm driving there and giving him a piece of my mind! I don't care how long the drive is."

And so, I explained the entire situation to her. Even though I would never like to admit it, I even managed to shed a few tears during the confession and had to pause every now and then to make sure I wasn't going to choke on my sobs and die.

After I had finished my hour-long rant, I let out a heavy sigh and wiped the remaining tears off my face with the sleeve of the shirt Mateo had lent me - the one I had attempted to return, but he insisted that I keep it. I don't know why I even bothered to wear it that day. I was trying my hardest to forget about him and nothing seemed to work, so I decided fuck it. I would just let myself think about him all I wanted to.

In other words, I was torturing myself deliberately.

The image of him leaving that day at the park still stuck with me. I would see it whenever I shut my eyes - and it would remain a burning reminder in my mind whenever my eyes were open. I hated every single minute of it, but it seemed like there was nothing I could do to help improve my situation. 

"Caleb, from what I hear it seems like you really like this boy," she began. "And if he feels the same way about you, he will come to you eventually."

"But it feels like I've been waiting so long," I complained. "How much longer will I have to wait? What if it's too late by then? And worse, what if I'm making the wrong decision by liking him?"

"Listen. I didn't know much about love either at first because my marriage was arranged - but I gradually learned to love my husband, despite the circumstances under which we'd gotten engaged.. and right now he's the first person I want to see when I wake up and the last person I want to see before I fall asleep. What I'm trying to say is, if I can find love in a situation like that - you can find love in whatever situation there is. If your heart's already fixed on him, then you know you aren't making a wrong decision. Just give it some time."

Give it some time. That's what Dustin had told me to do as well. 

"Thanks, Aunt Beth," I sniffled. "I'm glad I told you. You never fail to impress me."

"I know I'm old but I'm woke," she responded, and I could almost hear her proud grin at having used a twenty-first century slang. "Now go get some rest. You must be tired."

"I will," I promised. I wished her goodbye and hung up after a conversation that had lasted two hours. Leaning my head against the wall behind me, I began to wonder just when everything had gone wrong. Could Mateo potentially have feelings for me? If he didn't, then he wouldn't have tried to kiss me, right? Then why was he ignoring me?

My thoughts were brought to a screeching halt when I heard the beautiful melody of someone strumming the chords to a familiar song on a guitar. I let out a heavy breath. Mateo was playing a song on his guitar instead of blasting his music like usual.

I wasn't complaining, though. The time when I had told Mateo I would prefer listening to him playing the guitar over blaring Chase Atlantic came back to my mind - and it was accompanied by a small grin on my face, no matter how difficult the situation I was in was.

I let myself forget about all of my troubles for that brief moment and shut my eyes, focusing on nothing but the sound of the guitar - and in my mind, I could envision him leaning his back against the wall opposite to mine, leaning his head against the wall just like I was, strumming the chords to the song he would usually blast on full-volume. 

The only thing I couldn't visualize was the expression he was making. Was he happy that I was no longer bothering him? Or was he upset because he regretted that day entirely? I wanted to know. 

And even though the sound of him playing the guitar was more pleasant than any other song he had ever played before, I found myself yearning to hear the sound of his heartbeat just one more time.