Secrets Hurt

12

Disclaimer : I don't own the music used in this chapter. It's Lauren Diagle - look up child. Please make me smile and vote by clicking that star at the bottom of your screen. Thanks!!!

It's been 2 whole freaking week after my dad had cut me off. Today was a Sunday and I had nothing to do. Cynthia spent the night over at Price's place, she hadn't arrived yet, Ethan was busy with stuff, Amber was with Charles and Xena was hungover. I was alone in my apartment.

My step-mum had called me to apologize for keeping the fact that she wasn't my birth mother a secret. I told her she owed me no apology because she was never mean to me and she'll always be my mum. She kept hinting for me to come home and apologize or reach a compromise with my dad. She had appealed to him enough, so he didnt stop my tuition but he definitely wasn't paying my housing again, so I had free rent to enjoy for only my freshman year. Even if my dad took the family name from me, I was a true Kensington by blood and that meant I had a truck load of pride. I wasn't rolling over in submission, especially when I was the one wronged.

I needed to get a job on the side or something. Even though I had my savings, I couldn't bank on it for long. I needed a job soon. Imagine having to lean on my friends for food and Ethan to take care of my bills. Even if they didn't want to say it, they'll probably be wondering when I'll do something about my situation. I wondered what it'll be like, with nothing and having to eat from hand to mouth.

I could feel my breathe begin to quicken, I had a painful ache in my chest, signalling an onset of a panic attack. I try to breathe in as deeply and slowly as I can. Looking around my room, recognizing stuff and trying to keep myself grounded. I needed fresh air. I get off from my bed, grabbing my phone as I put on a hoodie over my bralette, I had a Greg biker shorts on. I put my earphones on and Damien's voice spill into my ears. His voice soothing as he sings the lyrics. The ache in my chest remains as I start jogging, not going too fast, keeping track of my movement so I could always find my way back to my apartment.

...

I sit on the seat available beside the side walk, catching my breathe from having jogged for long. I try to regulate my breathing as I glance around the street I was currently in. The houses gave a homey vibe. It seemed to be an estate of some sorts. All the houses seemed similar even though they were painted different. A signboard in front of a white picket fence catches my attention, it says 'Troubled? He has all the answers'. It was obviously a church from the cross on the window and the statue of Jesus on the cross at the top of the roof of the building. I've never been a religious person. My Dad was an Atheist, my step-mum was a Buddhist. I believed in God but I wasn't the church going type, so I don't know what prompted me off the seat and made me walk into the church, but I did. It smelled of old dry pinewood. The church was half filled with people who were scattered along the rows of seats in front of me, I shuffle into an empty row at the back just as the choir takes the stage.

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Where are You now

When darkness seems to win?
Where are You now
When the world is crumbling?
Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Where are You now (where are You?)
When all I feel is doubt?
Oh, where are You now
When I can't figure it out?
Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up
You're not threatened by the war
You're not shaken by the storm
I know You're in control
Even in our suffering
Even when it can't be seen
I know You're in control
Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, oh-oh-oooh
I hear You say, You say, You say
Look up child, ayy
I hear You say, You say, You say (look up, look up, look up, look up)
Look up child, oh-ooh, ooh, oh-oooh
I hear You say, You say, You say
Look up child, ayy
I hear You say, You say, You say (look up, look up, look up, look up)
Look up child
(I hear You say, You say, You say)
I hear You, I hear You calling my name, oh (Look up child, ayy)
I hear You say, You say, You say (look up, look up)
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up
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