CHAPTER 2 *MISCONCEPTIONS*

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Anthimony's POV

"Mas maswerte ka kasi paningin lang nawala sayo, sakin? --- alaala"
Yan ang paulit ulit na naririnig ko sa isip ko. Para bang may bunganga rin siya na dinaig pa ang pwet ng manok sa kakadaldal.
I'm sorry brain, am I too harsh?
Pero di nga.
He's actually right.

ITIM.

Yan na yung di man nawawala sa paningin ko, eh medyo nawawala naman sa dibdib ko. Isang malaking improvement para saken. Kung date ay DARK BLACK ang kulay na nararamdaman ko, ngayon LIGHT DARK BLACK NA. seriously, di ko rin alam kung bakit kulay ang nararamdaman ko, but i guess I'm just putting it figuratively. Weird.

So pag BROWN ang nararamdaman ko ibig sabihin natatate ako?

Great Anthimony, great! Kung ano nanamang kawirdohan ang ipinamamalas mo. Nakatamasa ka narin ata ng kabaliwan matapos ang aksidente eh.

By the way I'm already at my room right now. Si Tony kasi may ginagawa kaya ibinalik nya na ako kaagad. Di man lang ako nakapagpaalam dun kay Orion.

TONY? You ask? Shes the nurse. The one na kaboses si Martin Nievera at Popz Fernandez? Remember? Good.
Coming back to the centerfold of my thoughts I could hear myself giving a deep exhale.
"Haaaaayyyy." I exhaled. Joke, exaggerated yan, sino ba naman hihinga ng ganyan. Dinaig ko pa naman ang elepante kung huminga.
Pero OO. I guess tama naman yung sinabi niya. Na maswerte din naman ako. Na its a great luck that I survived . But doesn't mean i admit it means I accept it . For me I wasn't lucky. In Fact kung namatay na ako noon, mas OK pa. Para lang kasing nagkaroon ng isa pang chapter ang libro ng buhay ko na puro tragedy ang laman. Its just another chance to continue the sufferings that I have felt.

Its just too much.

Pakiramdam ko konti nalang sasabog na ako.

Hindi ko naman kayang magpakamatay kasi I still believe that its a bad thing to do. And though i want to really loose my life, i want it in a more natural way. So that wala ng magjajudge sakin pag namatay na ako.

I will not carry a heavier suffering.

ITIM.

Yan nanaman ang bumalot sa puso ko. Panandalian lang pala yung kanina. Sana mas tumagal p---

*tok tok*

May narinig akong katok sa pinto. Si Tony siguro.

"Come in!" Sabi ko. Narinig ko na ang bukas ng pinto. Iinom na ba akong gamot?

"Hello!" --

"Hello Tony! Time na ba for medication?" I kindly ask.

"Tony? Si Orion to!" Sabi ng dumating. Speaking of the devil.

"Oh. How did you find me here?" Tanong ko.

Teka. Somethings wrong.

Its kinda strange. Bakit parang ang gaan ng loob ko sa kanya. And I did not hesitate to entertain him nung pumasok sya sa kwarto ko. Aside from that just from hearing his voice I could easily know that its really him. Ugh.

Is this ---

OH MY GOD MY POWERS NA 'KO!

Di ko napansing napatayo na ako.

"Anong ginagawa mo?" - Orion

Natigilan ako.

"Uhhm. Wala. Oh ano nga ule bakit mo nalaman na nandito ako?" I asked.
"Ah, magkatapat lang pala tayo ng kwarto." Sagot niya.
" ah.. Ok." Heto nanaman. Bakit kuntento na kaagad ako sa sagot niya?
"Uhmm. Anthimony?" Marahan niyang sabi.
I can feel his movement. Papalapit siya sa kin. Hes moving towards me. I can feel my bed moving due to his movements. He just sat beside me.

*tugog* (heart beat sound)

Huh? Whats this I'm feeling right now. The moment he sat my heart started to beat weird.
"Pwede bang humingi ng pabor?" binulong niya sakin. Nararamdaman ko na ang init ng kanyang hininga. Soon, I realized his face was just a millimeter away from mine.

*tugog!*

My heart beated faster. Mas lalo na siyang lumakas that i could hear it. Damn! Anung sakit nanaman kaya ito.
"A-a-a-no yun?" Sh*t. I can't speak properly. Baka may epilepsy na yata ako.

"Can I ---" his whisper brought shivers to my ears into my body into my soul. I am feeling bad about it but its just hard to restrain.

"Pwede bang .." Oh my god. What is he asking for? Anthimony Grace Layco! Take hold of yourself! Your better than this!
But his voice is handsome as hell!

"Hmmmmm.." I can hear him breath and my heart is about to explode. My body is feeling hot.

"Pwede bang ---" just say it already! One more second and I'm about to go crazy!

"Pwede bang lagi akong pumunta dito?"

0________0'

O//////////O

-________- what was I thinking? Ganto na ba ang natatamasa ng mga nababarag ang ulo? Nababaliw?

"Uhh -- well. Sige. Since boring naman ang pag ste stay ko dito this whole two weeks, i guess having company would be fine." I draw a calm expression.

Itim.

Yan ang nararamdamn ko dulot ng kahihiyan na pinagagawa ko. T______T i feel so small. Having such illusions.

"Yesss! Sige!" Anong oras ka ba bakante?" He asked me.

"By 7:30 tapos ko na yung medications ko. I eat lunch. Then 7:30 din ng gabi yung next ng medics."

"Okay! I'll be seeing you then?" He asked me.

"Haaaayyy. May magagawa pa ba ako?" Actually meron. But i just felt the need to say yes. By the way being here the whole two weeks would be total boredom and lonesome.

"Oh sige! I'll be heading back. Its 7:30. Time for my medication as well."

Tumango nalang ako.

Sooner narinig ko na ang pagsara ng pinto.

Well, I think this would be ok.

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