SEVENTEEN

Chapter 14

   Chapter 14

                 After Jeonghan's mini meltdown earlier, the three eldest ended up sitting hunched together on the bed cuddling. It was something that all of them needed at the moment, but wouldn't say it out loud. Jeonghan ended up being sandwiched in the middle of them. He was just done, with all of it. He just wanted whoever it was that was going after them to stop and just go away. They didn't need nor want this in their lives at the moment. All that they wanted to do when they formed this group was to go and help those who needed it but weren't getting it. None of them had said a single word to each other since they had gotten Jeonghan calmed down. Both of his lovers had known that now wasn't the time to push for what was bothering him. They knew that it was more than just this, but from all the years that they have known each other pushing him would only make Jeonghan clam up even more. Joshua and Seungcheol are just content to sit there and wait for him to open up on his own timeline. So, you can only imagine the shock and surprise on both of their faces when Jeonghan spoke. "I took a pregnancy test."  

              No one in the room had said anything for a couple of minutes before Joshua broke the silence. "And?" Joshua asked him. "What were the results?" Jeonghan had taken his sweet time in answering them, but they didn't push him. "It was negative." Jeonghan said softly. "I'm not pregnant." And that load of information just floored the both of them. When they all started this relationship, Joshua and Seungcheol both knew that Jeonghan was a male carrier. And being a male carrier, that allowed him to become pregnant. They all knew that it was a risk and that they had to be careful about what they did. And the three of them have talked about having kids and starting a family. But they never thought that it would happen this soon. Don't get it wrong, all three of them knew that they were it for each other and they had no intention of ever being with someone else. This news was still very shocking though. Now wasn't the ideal time to have a kid, with the possible death threats looming over their heads. But even though all three of them know this, the other two couldn't help but think how devastated Jeonghan must be about this. Regardless of this, when someone tells you that you're not pregnant, it just makes you feel awfully, broken, like you can't do anything right. To put it in layman's terms, it makes you feel like shit.  

          Joshua and Seungcheol were beyond concerned about the other. They've seen Jeonghan get bad before, but not like this. In all of the years that they have known him and seen him break down, they've never seen it get this bad. And even that one time that they were scared that Jeonghan might try to kill himself, he wasn't this out of it. They really hoped that Jeonghan would be okay, and that whatever it is that's troubling him was something that they could work through together, the three of them. The two of them love Jeonghan, they really do, and they would do anything for him. Jeonghan does so much for them all and all that he wants to do is to just be happy and with them, his family. And to this day, both of them have made this silent pact that if they were to ever come across Jeonghan's asshole of a step-father, that, well, things weren't going to end pretty. And that was just going to be the beginning of it. That monster did things to the man that they both love that are unspeakable. Which is the root of most of the issues and illnesses that Jeonghan still suffers from now as an adult. He made Jeongahn grow to hate himself, and think that he was a waste of space in this world and that no one would ever love him. It just pissed the both of them off and they hated it. 

                 "Are you okay Angel?" Seungcheol asked him softly as he kissed Jeonghan on the cheek. Joshua pushed some of the brunette's face and kissed his other cheek. Jeonghan just shrugged in response and let out a deep shuddering breath. "I don't know." He said. "I feel... numb kind of I guess.." He told them. " I mean I was scared sure, I mean I could be pregnant, which by itself was scary enough for me on its own, but with what happened to Junnie, it just made all of it way, way worse." He explained to them. "And if I was pregnant then that would make me a target for whoever it is after us, and I wouldn't be able to handle it, that much I know." Jeonghan confessed. "But at the same time, I feel empty, I know that this wouldn't be the ideal time to do it, but you know, I thought that I was pregnant there for a second." He told them. "I thought of a bunch of little kids running around looking like miniature versions of the two of you, and it just made everything better." At some point during his confession he started crying again. Joshua hummed and moved to wipe away the tears from his face. "It's okay baby." Joshua told him. Both he and Seungcheol went to hug their other lover. "Yeah, what Shua said." Seungcheol told them. "After all of this is over.." Seungcheol began. Jeonghan and Joshua turned their heads to see what he wanted to say. "After all of this is over, how would you feel about trying for a baby?"