Lost in Japan

6th Step

"Watch your step. You might get yourself trap.

—•—

I was drown by my deep thoughts, when I heard my cellphone's notification tone.

Dear God... Not now.

I mentally pray na sana hindi ang inasahan kong balita ang bubungad sa akin sa araw na 'to. Gusto kong magpahinga. Gusto kong tumigil muna. Kahit ngayon lang. Para kahit papaano— baka sa paraang ito, mabawasan nang kahit konti ang duming nararamdaman ko sa sarili ko.

Napatingala ako para sana makakuha ng lakas— ay ewan. Bumugad lang naman sa akin ang kisame ng maliit kong apartment. Gusto ko lang sanang makita ng maaliwalas na tanawin ngayon. Gulong-gulo ako.

'Wag ko na lang kayang basahin?

Kabaliwan. Wala rin namang magbabago. Hindi ko naman 'to matatakasan.

Tolero kong inabot ang cellphone kong nasa sahig. I typed my password and then tap the message icon at napapikit ako ng mariin dahil siguradong hindi napakingan ng langit ang hiling ko ngayon.

Kaya kahit ayaw kong humiwalay sa aking kama, pinilit ko ang sarili ko. Gagawin ko na lang nang matapos na. While doing my thing to get ready, unconsciously, I looked myself's reflection.

"Tanginang mukha 'yan Hiro. Umayos ka nga. Panindigan mo 'to. Ginusto mo to." I frustratedly scrolled myself. I even slap my face lightly, hoping to have back my missing in action sanity.

It's been a long time since I enter this shit hole. Exactly seven months when I found myself in a conference room. Having a black sign pen in my hand. I passed the exam with an ace score making me in first line of employment. Clearly that time, I don't know if it's a good thing since I don't have any idea, aside from I will be offering a service— I'll be the service.  I'm having second thoughts that time. I can recall it as if it happened yesterday. Recall how my conscience begged or more like warned me saying "Hiro, you're fucked up but come on, don't do this."  But since, I'm a hard-headed bastard, I signed the contract as if it just a one-time deal. I was a brainless chicken back then. I read the terms and condition, but shame, I didn't bother to read it thoroughly.

What a dumb move.

So now, my stupidity backfired at me.

I walked back in my room as a hermit crab shell that I am.

"Pipikit na lang ako. Matatapos din 'to."

I'm in my usual boring attire then walked my way to a known hotel here in Tokyo. It's time for me to whore out myself professionally.

I was outside in the hotel room of my client. I think, this is a suite.

She must be rich.

Even I'm not in my best shape, I knocked in the door three times. I'm here not to waste time. Things need to be done as soon as possible or else, I will be out of control. Ayoko namang mag-mental breakdown sa harap ng taong intended kong pasayahin. That would be totally humiliating on my part.

The door open slowly. I saw this candle-like fingers holding the edge of the door for it to open wider. Then, this petite girl with white complexion appear.

Putangina.

Natigilan ako. Natigilan din siya pero ang pagkakaiba namin, matamis siyang nakangiti matapos niyang makabawi. Habang ako nanigas sa kinatatayuan ko. I hyperventilate. My throat went dry.