Because Of The Journey.

24.

Do not be so quick to blame the sky for crying.
Did you ever consider that the flicker of lightning is the sign of a broken spirit?
The crack in a once blue sky's heart?
Or that the gray clouds you curse at only appear because they have been kept at bay for too long?

Do not expect the sky to never lose track of its sun.
You lose your smile,
And yourself too sometimes.

I played with the pen while reading what I just wrote. I closed the book then just looked at the clear blue skies. That's one of my favourite things to do. Back home Ginger would come knocking on my window at 1AM for us to go sit outside and stargaze. He always had some rolled joints "only for the gazing sessions" he would say.

We would talk about anything and everything. Once we got high, we would laugh at nothing in particular. I used to feel like I was floating, saw the stars winking at me and man I would blush and wink back. So we named the stars, different names everyday. I would sometimes forget the names but Ginger didn't.

He always remembered one particular star name, "Patricia". That's his grandmother's name. Nah she ain't dead she's still alive. He always referred to her as a Star, the only person who mattered most in his life. More like his light, "Inkwenkwezi yakhe ekhanya ebumnyameni."

I just smiled and stood up. Took my car keys, wallet and a bottle of water. I went out the house, locked the door and straight to my car. Plugged the aux and jammed to Partynextdoor's Peace Of Mind. I started bumping my head in sync with the song. I stopped infront of a traffic light and laid my head back and sang out loud,

"I showed love to my whole women but never loved like this,
No one wants to lose a love like this,
A lady with patience,  a lady with patience,
I did crazy things,  she still waited on me, yeah"

I looked out the window and saw that some girl was looking at me. I just smirked, licked my lips then winked at her. She blushed, yeah? I smiled to myself before driving. I arrived at the neighborhood, it was the same way it was when I left. Beautiful green grass and people on their porches minding their own businesses, just that nothing new.

I got out the car looking at the two storied house. "I'm here", I said to myself. I walked up to the front door and just stood there. I laughed thinking about my 'slime window exit'. I then knocked a couple of times. The door opened revealing my mom with bags under her eyes. She seemed like she was under the weather.

"Shanice!" She said pulling me in for a hug. I tightly hugged her back and she tensed up a bit. "You Okay Mama?" "I'm Okay baby, I'm just so happy to see you" she said allowing me in. "I thought you had forgotten me, Blacky's been reassuring me that you Okay." Her eyes were teary but she did seem very happy if I must say.

"I missed you that's why I decided to come check up on you." I looked around and asked "you alone?" She nodded. "Jason went out with his daughter, I was cooking dinner you'll join us?" She asked smiling.

"Unfortunately I have somewhere to be Mama but I promise I'll stay next time", I kindly declined the offer trying not to hurt her feelings. "Wait, you said 'daughter', Jason has a daughter?" I asked her. "Yeah, she came to stay with us for a couple of weeks. She's very sweet and calm too. I don't think she likes me though" she frowned.

I hated seeing her like this. She was pale, she looked tired and she was definitely not her usual self. The loud sarcastic Carol, nah she wasn't that. She was just drained. "Shanice I love you Okay? I know I don't tell you much often but I just want you to know." "I love you too Mama and I honestly miss you shouting at me for dumb things" I said making her laugh.

"I miss hearing your speakers go off too" she blushed. "I knew you lowkey liked my music!" I said excited. "Remember the day I caught you listening to Kehlani? Then you said and I quote "these songs aren't really nice but her voice is beautiful" I knew you were lying", "I didn't want you to be cocky, come on Shanice don't be corny corey" I laughed so hard I had tears coming out my eyes.

"Mama you know those are Young M.A's lines?", "I know" she grinned. Wow she was really being the corny one.

"Wake me up with some more of your love
'Cause your love, your love, your love'
Wake me up with some more of your love"

She started to sing Little More (Royalty) by Chris Brown, that was her favourite song. One thing I never mentioned is that this woman can sing yow!

"Oh I need a back talk, girl I'm your 'Mommy' no sass talk "

I smiled knowing exactly what she was about to do next. She then held both my cheeks and squeezed them, she does that everytime. She continued singing,

"Oh baby girl you inspire me, give me the reason to keep on.
My baby my royalty, girl you're the Lyrics to my song
Girl you got this heart lock on me, I don't think I can control it.
I hold on with all my might while you look at me in my eyes
Like a vitamin you put back my energy
And making me stronger,  bring out the best in me"

She wiped away my tears and kissed my forehead. I didn't even notice I was crying yow. "I love you Nana", "I love you too Mama" we embraced each other in a warm hug until we heard the door open. "That's them", she said letting me go. "I guess that's my cue to leave", "So soon?" she asked looking a bit sad. "I promise to come check on you again, soon" she nodded. I then kissed her cheek and walked out the kitchen bumping into Jason.

"Shane, Hey", he said opening his arms preparing for a hug. I just looked at him and "Hi" before passing him and heading to the door. "Aren't you staying for dinner?" he asked. "Nah, maybe next time or maybe never, I don't know."

"You must be Shanice" I heard someone say coming down the stairs. I looked up to see a pretty girl in a blue dress, dreadlocks in a messy bun wearing white sandals. She looked 5'4, 5'5 yeah? "Yeah and you are?" "I'm Jessica" she said holding out her hand. Don't shake it Shane, you don't know where those hands were, I said to myself.

I sighed before shaking her hand. Dumb ass! "Nice to know you Jessica but I gotta go", "Ohh? Same here Shanice". "It's Shane", I said. "Nice knowing you too Shane" she smiled. "Yeah, bye" I said walking out the door after closing it I heard her say "bye". I just shook my head.

- 18❤.