Because Of The Journey.

33.

Savannah's POV.

"What I've learnt from the ocean,
Hard to dance and rejoice in the motion.
Let the sun have its moment,
The moon will come.
What I've learnt from a soldier,
Every man is a son to a daughter,
And we only remember when we see the blood."

I sat in my room playing the piano while Jacob Banks was singing in the background. My eyes got teary, my heart got heavy and my body became stuck. In a world of living creatures I felt dead. Looking myself in the mirror I always saw a stranger in my definite self. My bloodshot eyes already knew that tears was their new friend.

I was never one to cry but these days that's all I do. They say home is love but my home is hell. I've lived with my foster family all my life and you'd think my life changed for the better but instead it changed for the worst. Sometimes I asked myself why they took me from the orphanage if they were going to treat me this way. Well things were fine till I told them I was gay.

They are huge on Christianity and of course in their own belief being gay is a sin. I've been beaten, kicked and humiliated. Some say the one who is kicking is most likely the one to feel the most pain. Well I don't believe that and will never understand why people turn to take out their frustrations on other people.

"What I've learnt from a traveler,
There's no road that can lead to nirvana.
There's a world to discover,
But home is love
Mhm
What I've learnt from a mirror,
Look too hard and you'll find you a stranger,"

I smiled to myself thinking this guy must be living inside me to know how I actually view myself on a daily. When my parents heard that Venus had died, they didn't seem to care knowing exactly how happy she made me feel. "I told you that you will all end up in hell" my mother would repeatedly say. "Seek out to God and you will be saved" that was my father telling me to change the way I'm living as if I woke up and decided to be gay.

"Don't grow up on me,
Keep that backstroke in your Afro.
Don't you grow up on me,
Slow up homie"

Alicia, my little sister came into the room singing. But because in this house we wasn't allowed to say the word "homie" she kept quiet when the song got to that part. We weren't allowed to say a lot of words like the n-word, the b-word, the f-word and all those other curse words. Honestly when I was here I tried my best to speak as I was taught. When I'm with the crew that's when I'm most comfortable because I know I can talk any how and never get lectured for my unruly behavior and my choice of words.

Alicia was in the eighth grade and she understood me more than her parents did. I also understood her but she was still uncomfortable in talking to me about some things. She would always start up a conversation about certain topics just for her to learn more about them. I honestly liked that about her, she was always eager to learn each day and I was proud to tell her at least what I know.

"You've listened to Witness today?", she asked sitting on the edge of my bed. "Yeah, you know there's never a day I go to bed without listening to it" I said smiling. "I think I've become a witness to myself", she spoke softly with her voice shaking. "Oh yeah? In what manner?", "I think I've learned more about myself and I'm not who I think I am" she replied.

Okay, not who she thinks she is. Clearly also not who we all think she is. "I've been going back and forth thinking about this. I've been wanting to talk to you so you can try and help me or rather partake in this journey I'm about to take", she was really scared and even a person who didn't know her would say the same thing.

"I'm here for you, you straight? I mean talk to me" I said correcting my sentence. "I'm not straight", she said. I quickly realized that she must have thought the straight I was asking about was the sexuality straight. Oh wait she said she's not straight. "So you gay?" I asked. "I'm trans and I need your support during my transitioning time because I know our parents will probably throw me out and I'm ready for that. I'm tired of living a lie, I just can't anymore, this isn't me" she said looking at herself and wiping her tears away.

I stood up and went to hug her. I know a bit about how she's probably feeling. Alicia was not allowed to surround herself with a certain group of friends. She had no friends all her childhood till now. She was told to never follow up on my footsteps because the lifestyle I chose will only lead me into a world full of people who had no life. I now understood why she always wanted to be around me, and me around her.

"I'll be here till the very end Okay? I'm old enough to even move out of here. But I'll have to convince them that I have to take you with me. I'll try", I said making circles on her back.

I've been planning on moving out since I was seventeen but my parents never allowed me. They said I'll only move out when I get a good paying job and head out to college. Well me trapping is a good paying job but I work at a retail store to cover up where I get the money from. I had a chance to work at a tattoo shop but you know tattoos in this house are associated with evil spirits.

I'm old enough now and I can certainly stand my ground. I'll just have to make a plan to help my sister out. She needs me more than ever now.

- 18❤.