Because Of The Journey.

40.

Shane's POV.

The mystery of love is the ability of trust,
Holding someone's hand when you hanging on a cliff,
Knowing they won't let you go,
A safe world built for two people with genuine intentions.

The mystery of love can be someone's misery,
Insecurities, trust issues and uncertainty,
An overthinking mind which always end up in tears.

The mystery of love can be like a room with no light,
More slips, more fights and no more sparks,
Where one always end up with a permanent scar,
That never heals but continues to get wounded multiple times.

The mystery of love can be deceptive,
Changing like the seasons and never realizing that you are losing your leaves, deciduous.

The mystery of love can be joyful like polka,
Exciting like the sound of medleys or just nostalgic.

Remember Mercury's words when she said,
"Focus on yourself before you decide to share your soul with someone else. Grow first before you'd enhance growth on someone else. Everything starts with YOU, so take your time and don't rush. The universe will make things happen when it sees you're strong enough to deal with the hardships everything has to come with."

I feel as if Nicole is the one that the universe was preparing me for. I'm ready to share my soul with her, through conversations and the sex. I'm ready to allow her to see through me but I won't let her use my vulnerability against me someday. I'm ready to make her happy and see that I'm the one for her.

Yes, I'm scared I might lose her someday. But that doesn't mean I won't try to fight for us. I'm willing to cherish the now and plan ahead for the future. She's shown me that the feelings are indeed mutual. I wouldn't want to give her my all just to receive a piece from her.

With me relationships should be a platform for growth in both parties, a platform for learning and sharing the same type of love I also want to receive. My heart turns cold sometimes, I don't control it or maybe I do but that's just how it's always been. Now, view this from your own perspective. My heart turns cold, My words are plain, My actions are still, would you still want to be with me?

Whatever your answer might be, Nicole's answer might differ. She may just pack her things and head out the door or she might stick around and try to reason with me for our relationship.

I honestly want it to work and trust me I'm willing to do anything for it.

"Baby my mom wants to see you", Cole said making me choke on water. We were at the complex after a great night of sweet things, you know. "Oh yeah? For real?", I managed to ask after wiping my mouth. "I'm not playing. Remember when I went to see her? We might've talked about you a little bit" she said with her cocky grin. "A little bit, it doesn't sound like that to me" I smirked.

"Well you know, nothing important shit. I know you trying to make me talk and there's nothing to say" she said making the both of us laugh. "She's getting better?" I asked. "Yeah, a whole lot better. She's started cooking for herself again, basically she's up on her feet. She's one person who always wants to be busy like all the damn time. I said she must take it easy on herself, guess what I earned? A slap on the head", "You deserved that" I said laughing. "Baby!", she pouted.

She be looking so damn cute and I be always wanting to lick her face like damn. "Stop doing that, you look ugly baby", I said. She then started tickling me, "Okay okay I'm sorry Ma, you look beautiful", "Spell beautiful" she said. I looked up at her like she had two heads. "B-e-a-u-t..", "Nah yow I'm fucking with you", she said laughing. "Alright Beauty" I said slick. "Alright Beast" she shot back. "Brooo! Stop playing with me" I said making us laugh.

"How has your mom been?", "I've been keeping in touch with her, I just haven't seen her in a month" I said. "You still feel uncomfortable in visiting her?", "Uhm well, yeah" I said rubbing the back of my neck nervously. She noticed. "Why you nervous all of a sudden?", she asked. "Yow, I'm not" I said with a fake laugh. "I know you Shanice, you good?", "I'm straight Beauty" I said making her blush. "I'm letting this slide, for now."

I haven't told her about what that nigga Jason did to me. I haven't told anyone for that matter. I'm just used to keeping things to myself. People say it's not healthy but it's all I know. I mean I keep a great cover up image. I always want to be there for others but when someone tries to be here for me I just push them away like "No no honey, what you trying to do?" I'm used to being there for myself because I feel as if no one wants to hear me sulk about my life anyways.

Everyone is going through different things and some "like me" are still trying to heal from the situations they don't talk about.

"Baby I'll be heading to the office right quick then go to my house to fetch some things, I'll be back Okay?", Cole said. "You leaving me?" I asked fake crying. "I'll be back though, I promise", "Okay then" I said as we kissed. I walked her out then went back to my bedroom. I've been smiling the whole time, lovesick I tell you. I walked to the sitting room and threw myself on the couch. I then started singing,

"I don't wanna wake up dead,
If I ain't got you, then I'm already gone.
Baby, don't leave me alone,
'Cause I don't wanna wake up dead,
I'ma take twenty-three shots of Patrón.
'Cause girl if you ain't comin' back home,
Then I don't wanna wake up"

I got disturbed by a knock on the door. "Damn Baby you back that fast?", I said smiling to myself walking to the door. I opened and a female figure immediately fell towards me. "What the fuck?" She was bruised looking like she was beaten up real bad. "Oh the fuck no" I said to myself recognizing the face. "Jessica? What the fuck happened to you? Who did this?" I asked.

"My..my dad" she said. That BUSTARD!

- 18❤.