Vent Book (ig)

Guess What

So...

I think I'm crazy

And I know I keep saying that

But I may be

And I honestly don't care

I ruin everything

I can't feel nothing anymore

I'm being hurt

I'm ignored

I'm hurting myself

Wishing that I was never born

Thinking that I'm gonna go to hell for all my lies

And people got hurt from them

And I can't take it back

I wish I could

But there's no time travel machine to undo what was done

Which is why I'm going to live with all of this guilt forever

And the weight on my shoulders will get heavier

And people will hate me

Tell me things that aren't true

And I'll believe them

Some of my friends stopped talking to me at all

I come on here because I know that there are a lot of good people here and some good stories to read

But honestly...

No one from the past talks to me like how they did a few months ago

I miss a lot of my friends on here

I wish we could still talk

But you don't want to go back...

None of you do

And most likely they won't see this..

And I'm talking about a lot of people

I'm sorry

I'm trying

But that doesn't seem good enough for anyone

I don't matter

I don't care

I won't commit suicide

But

I will hate myself

And I will forever until the end

Because I made a mark

And now its a scar

That will never fade away

But I tried to lighten myself up today

So

I decided to watch some YouTube

Pretty normal, right?

I feel like I'm being watched...

I'm seeing things...

I can't handle it...

You know

.....

Heh...............

We all had imaginary friends when we were younger

Which is why I believe a lot of kids go insane and crazy

And I'm seeing mine again

I've been trapped in the house for too long

And when my parents see me...

They think I'm talking to myself

I say no

But they look at me like I'm crazy

I'll also starving myself

That's FUN!!!!

I...don't know....

It just feels right

And I like it

Being small...is fun

Now, I'm not judging anyone, that's not what I meant.

But...the pain...feels so good...

Heh..

I can handle it

And without sleep, too!!

This is going to be fun....

And I'll enjoy it

As much as I did when I thought about killing myself

And don't say that you know what I feel

Don't say that it'll get better

Don't

Just don't

Because it won't

And it never will

I know that for a fact

Which is why I shut everyone out

And come here

Because I feel like I could talk to people

Like I can be myself........

Guess I was wrong