Ruminate

Good People

I always preach to those I wish to comfort that things will get better. There are times of light with pockets of darkness, just as there are dark times with pockets of light. You just have to stand your ground and make sure you make it through the bad times and rejoice in the good.

I always tell them that there are good people in the world. Good people that won't hurt them in the way that they are hurting.

A good person wouldn't make you feel this way.
A good person wouldn't do this to you.
A good person isn't worth your time.

Cut out the bad, and search for the good.
Good people are out there.

Selfishly, I wanted to believe that I was the good person I would propagate. I would assume that if I were the person in this situation, I would never cause this much pain. I put myself on a pedestal, convinced that I am a good person. That the source of their problems should be more like me.

But then I make a mistake. Some might call it a "humbling experience" or something that "brought them back down to earth". It never feels that way - being brought back down to earth. More accurately, it feels as if I am thrown to the ground, stoned, tarred, feathered, buried alive, and left to rot.

A good person wouldn't do this.
But I did. How could I be good if that were true?
I watch the source of my actions break down the people I put my blood into building up.
How could I possibly be good?

Obviously people make mistakes, even good ones. But how could someone that is good make a mistake this catastrophic - that causes this much destruction?

Perhaps it was wrong of me to identify as 'good'.

But perhaps I am being too hard on myself, as all I am trying to be is my best.