The Moments

Chapter Fifteen

JORDAN WILLS

Spring break has just begun and with it my sudden detachment from almost all social interactions. Given that I no longer have any desire to call Lisa and that my mom and I are no longer on speaking terms, I communicate only with Madelyn and occasionally Dr. Moore.

Nick wasn't at school for the past few days which isn't really unusual for him. Usually he would text me or something, but he's seemed distant lately. I've opted to just give him time and space to work things out. That's what I usually need.

Dr. Moore recently suggested I attend a support group she hosts for troubled teens. I am, of course, amongst said troubled teens, but the support group appeared a painful way to spend a day. That said, two reasons to go to the hospital a week was also two opportunities to visit Madelyn, who was fresh off a round of chemo and only just beginning to feel fractionally better.

After the eventful proceedings of the other night I have decided to reinvent myself and upon Madelyn's admitting to wanting to introduce her way of life to me, I bestowed upon her the grand idea of us both trying each other's existence. Obviously it's impossible for her to show me what it's like having cancer and there is probably a handful of things I can't show her either, but that being said, we made a deal. By our next meeting, she will sit on the roof with me and after that I must vow never to sit on one again. A month ago that would have been an enraging suggestion, but now all I can think is that as long as I can see her, I don't need the roof.

The other night was an exception to that thought. I'm beginning to believe more and more in outliers, I stopped denying their existence. They exist, though incredibly infrequent, they exist. Because Madelyn isn't family, she isn't an asshole, and the "friend" doesn't encase all that she is to me either. She is an outlier. There's not anybody else like her and therefore no reason to create another category. In fact, I'm starting to throw the notion of those categories out the window. She broke the system.

This is what I am thinking about as I walk to her room instead of attending my mind numbing Friday therapy session. School today was beyond boring considering Nick wasn't there so I don't have much to tell her anyway. I had considered asking him if he wanted to hang out before I was due to meet Madelyn. I was even considering introducing the two. That plan was aborted when Madelyn let me know that her dad was gone for the day and that she was feeling well enough to hang out for a bit. She told me that with the right stealth I could easily get in and out of her room unnoticed. I was beaming at the thought.

You might be wondering what happened to Life 360 and strict rules implemented by Maria Wills. After our argument, she deleted the app and stopped enforcing the rules. It's weird to be honest. It's not like her to abandon her strict nature in a time when she's just begun to uncover some facts about me she's been in the dark about for a long time. I don't want to think she's given up on me, but it almost feels that way.

I shake the thought out of my head as I reach Madelyn's room. The door is tall and kind of intimidating. All chipped paint over metal and glass. It reminds me of when I was in an almost identical room not too long ago. More than that it reminds me of the things I try not to remember. Another thought shaken out of mind as I gently tap on the door.

My knuckles have barely met the surface when the door is thrown open and Madelyn yanks me in by the collar of my shirt. In a whirlwind of motions she pulls me into the room and presses her lips against mine, an action she's been discussing wanting to do ever since she first got to. I am in a brief state of shock, wide eyed, almost pulling away even. That feeling is short lived though as the longer her soft lips press against mine, the more I dissolve into that touch. I close my eyes and allow this blissful feeling to take hold of me.