THE WONDERS OF LIFE

Nightmares

Why is the letter "W" called double "U". Shouldn't it be double "V".🙂😑😐🤔

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So now am a multi-billionare with tons of money but still I feel empty. Lonely, like something is missing in my life. I don't feel happy. All i feel is sadness and hate.

Everything is really black and white if you come to think of it. Happiness is only temporary until the blackness stars to fill all the hues and shades.

Then the more brighter parts, the happiest of memories turn white, colourless ... completely empty and desolate as if nothing was there at all.

I prefer the blackness. The numbing touch of the darkness its more satisfying than nothing at all.

Atleast, thats how i see it.

I got ready to sleep, was on my bed  under the covers reading a book.

**********

There i was, in the forest. Standing and looking ahead. A person was standing 10 feet away from me. It started to rain. But i always loved rain, because it washed away everything, all the dirt and i hoped it would wash away my pain.

The rain left bruises on my skin. It felt like dozens of glass shrads was shooting through me. Like bullets and i liked it for some an known reason.

I was wandering around the forest. All i could see for miles and miles around was people and more people. Their faces blurred together and condensed into one. I scanned the horizon, feeling the need the need to run away.

A shiver ran down my spine. A million red flags sent my heart thundering. My fears solidified, with a determined jaw and angry eyes. I turned fully to face my fate. What do you want?

She stopped. Now a mere three feet away , she smiled despite her obvious surprise at my hostility.

It was her. It couldn't have been her but it was certainly clearly her. My mother.
My mood changed instantly from scared to angry. The mood swings ranged from me being pissed to the point where i just blacked out and lashed out and anything at everthing and then lapsed into immediate sadness, where it hurt so bad to be here , i would scream  from somewhere inside me.

My sadness didn't match up to others, my tears long since dried and escaped to some untappable place. Now it was just the need to scream or beat the shit out of something. Which ofcourse I  was not going to do. 

I woke up drenched in sweat, gasping for air and placed a hand at my heart to stop it from running out of my chest.

I constantly kept having this nightmares. I was always in the forest.  Searching , looking for Something or Some one. But everytime I found someone it always turned out to be my mother.  Something I didn't have control over.

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