This Isn't The End

Chapter 1

So this story is under major editing.

And I'm really shitty at updating. Sorry.

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As we pass cars on the highway I study a man in the van next to my car. He is shoving fries in his mouth while on the phone. His chin moves with every chew and when he starts to laugh his neck vanishes into the fat under his chin. I wish I was listening to my mom lecturing me about being safe and kind in a different country, different continent. I wish I wanted to silence her by turning up the radio to a ear piercing level. But instead I sat in a ghastly silence with my mother. I did not once dare to glance over to see hot tears running down her round face. I did not want to see her "I can't help MY son"  face.

I heard her whisper that to my dad once. Like all I was and ever will be is HER son. Like My only purpose in life was to make her proud and be the idea of a perfect son. Well sorry 'bout that. My sincerest apologies.

I know Matty is already in the terminal. He probably is looking at his phone and silently cursing me for being late. When DIA is finally insight I begin to tap my leg impatiently.

"Ezra, please" My mom breathes glancing at my shaking leg.

"Just hurry, please" I breath out quietly.

As we make turns through cars she pulls the car to hard stop. My flight boards in forty five minutes. I technically was in no rush because I knew where I was going. That's why for a millisecond I was sorry for slamming the car door. But I was angry and uncomfortable. 

One large suitcase and a carry on work-out bag carried all of my  belongings. I tried to control my urge to break the car window when it wouldn't open the space of the trunk that held my belongings. When my mother's warm hand rested on my forearm I stopped hitting the glass. With ease she opened the window and moved so I could grab the case. 

When I turn my body to face her I finally saw her face. She looks tired. I know she didn't sleep last night because she didnt kissed my head before heading to sleep, like she had every night the past 17 years of my life. Also her cheeks, nose, and eyes were red and puffy. My heart fell to the bottom my torso and I had a urge to throw up at the sight. I was feeling guilty.

"Ezra I love you so much." She chokes out over tears.

"Love you too." I say as she pulls me into a warm tight hug.

"Be safe my baby. Get better and be happy." She whispers into my ear. As I pull away I nod my head.

"Goodbye mom" I say pulling at the grasp she has on my wrist.

"Call me, please, when Mel picks you up." She reminds me as she releases my wrist. Her hot tears have made a spot on the shoulder hood of my sweatshirt cold and wet.

As if find my terminal, just as I expected Matty was leaning forward in a small black chair with his phone in his hand and a small bag at his feet.

"Took you long enough." He says not looking up from his phone.

"Yeah." I shrug.

"Let's go, princess" He says standing up with his bag over his left shoulder. I adjust my bag and follow him to enter the plane.

He hands his passport and boarding pass to the lady, "Have a nice flight, Matthew." The flight attendant smiled to Matty. He just nodded and did a little wave, walking down the hall to the plane.

As I walk up to her my chest begins to feel full and heavy. This couldn't happen at a worse time. I try to take deep breaths, trying calm myself down. Knowing that I

"Hello," I smiled handing her my passport and boarding pass. She looked at me then the book, "Have a safe flight, Ezra." She said smiling at me.

"Thank you." I beamed at her, I was getting butterflies for no reason, I was just happy. I jogged to catch up to Matty. We were greeted at the plane entrance by three more flight attendants. They all mumbled "thank you for choosing British airways" and "welcome" ect. We just smiled.

"I'm seat E- 26. You?" Matty said looking around.

"Umm.. E- 25." I scanned the seats for "E"

I quickly met my eyes with beautiful green ones. All at once my nerves exploded and then disappeared in a single second. My heart stopped and I choked on nothing. I just stared at her. She stared back at me with the same intensity.

"Ezra! What are you doing?!" Matty whispered screamed in my ear trying not to make more of a scene. I had run into a cart on the front row of seats. I laughed awkwardly and look back at the girl, who was ducking behind her seat. I just laughed awkwardly again and walked forward, still looking at her. Inching closer to her, I was in a daze. Matty pointed to her seat. My stomach dropped.

"Row E" he said pointing to where she was, " You go in first, 25 then 26." He smirked at like he was lucky he got the aisle seat. But I climbed in quickly, sitting next to her.