Homeward Bound

Homeward Bound Chapter 19

'Cara,' mum called to me as I tried my best to remain calm for what was to come.

'What mum,' I called back, looking in the bathroom mirror to put the black jade earrings in that I had picked for the funeral.

'What's this?' she asked me, appearing in the doorway holding the dress I had put in her wardrobe.

I looked at it for sometime and felt like kicking myself for not thinking she would go in there looking for something to wear.

'It must be something you bought years back,' I bluffed her, which had her frowning.

'Oh I don't...' she began.

'Mum come along, you said you wanted to be well prepared before the funeral car arrived,' I cut over her, which had her leaving me and going back to her room.

I let out a shaky breath and looked back in the mirror at my pasty face. I hated to think I had aged but I really felt that I had. I gave my navy dress a brush down, which was hard when it seemed to collect cat hairs like Velcro would do. I refused to wear black as dad had hated the colour. Mum, a great staunch believer in doing things correctly, would not consider navy at all. she would wear the only black dress she had for every funeral she'd gone to.

I went to check on her, knowing she was feeling really uptight and why shouldn't she when she had loved dad, even though he'd been difficult to get on with in the end. Their marriage hadn't been a bad one. Dad had never bossed mum about in away that would consider he was dominating all the time, just being a liability in public at times.

She was sat on her bed, now wearing her funeral gear, holding a tissue and looking like she might burst into tears. In her hand were the perils that dad had, in one of his spending moments, purchased her during some trip to the Ilse of Wight peril shop. I just went up to her and took them out of her hand and tenderly placed them around her neck, knowing she had wanted to wear them. She smiled her thanks at me and then reached out for my hand on her shoulder. I felt the bond there and the suffering too.

I might have said something if it hadn't been for someone knocking on the door. I could tell by her look that she wanted me to go and get it. So I left her before the person knocked again. I opened the door and came face to face with Charlie Graves in full funeral dress. Beyond him, waiting just beside the road was the hearse. I just stood there and looked at the glass frontage with the bare coffin sat there and I felt tears coming to my eyes. I gulped before Charlie tenderly touched my hand, which almost had me going.

'It's not too late for flowers,' he said, like he thought the bareness was effecting me and in away it did but it was more the enormity for it all.

'Thank you, but it wouldn't work,' I managed to say.

'Well, we are ready when you are,' he assured me, as I turned and went to find mum, to prepared her for this.

'Do come in,' I urged him, feeling the need for a strong man to be close at hand.

He followed me, stopping in the hallway, while I went to find mum, still sat on her bed looking into the dressing table mirror. She looked to have aged since last night and the pain was so noticeable. I knew I would have to treat her with kid gloves for once.

'Mum, there are here,' I spoke softly to her, sitting on the bed beside her.

'Very well, I'll put my shoes on,' she replied, catching my eyes in the mirror and I knew she was hanging on a thread here.

'Not the lace up ones,' I joked, which made her smile and nod that she agreed.

We both got up and she slipped on her only small court shoes that she'd not worn for some time. She got her thick woollen coat off the door hook and found a scarf. With a deep breath she left the room and joined me in the hallway.