Love After Life

Six: First Encounter

*Note: Expect that there are typos and wrong grammars here*

-:-

"So how was it?"

Tanong agad sa akin ni Miss Sayson nang maka-ahon na ako sa palanggana. Pero hindi ko siya masagot dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko. I can't find the exact words to say because up until now I'm still surprised with what I knew and saw.

Even though I didn't talk to him nor get close to him, I knew and I was aware that Iven was looking at me, not with my direction. But with me. His expression tells it, with his brows knitted and clenched jaw. He was confused and surprised.

Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan, bakit siya? Of all the people that could help me, why Iven? Why him? We're not even close and hindi pa nga kami close to friendship. He's a mere acquaintance for me and so with him. Kilala ko siya, pero kilala ba niya ako? Yes, he knows my name and my existence, but he doesn't know my personality. How can he help me if that's the situation?

"Amery?"

I stopped from thinking deep thoughts when I heard her asked again. I slowly looked at her and gave her a weak smile.

"There's someone that can see me. But..."

Miss Sayson looked at me intently and fixed her position. Para bang hinahanda niya ang sarili sa susunod kong sasabihin. Bumuntong hininga ako, trying to compose a complete sentence in my mind.

"I think he can't help me kasi hindi naman niya ako kilalang kilala. He visited my funeral but he knows me by my name and that's it. Sa tingin ko lang ay hindi siya ang tamang tao na dapat tumulong sa akin." Her forehead creased. I think she is trying to comprehend my opinion or maybe finding the right words to share.

But deep inside me, I'm wishing that there's still another way, na meron pang ibang tao ang makakatulong sa akin aside from Iven. 'Yung taong kilala talaga ako. I am now pressured with my situation, dahil  may mga limitations. This thing that is happening to me right now only lasts for one year at pagkatapos noon, I will become a lost soul. . . Forever

And I don't want that to happen.

"But we have no choice, dear. Only one person can help you and that is him. Wala na tayong magagawa, it's all written in fate. Pero kung ayaw mo talaga, you can just ignore this and be a lost soul. Your fate is in your hands, Amery. You are the only one who can control it. It's all yours."

I heaved a heavy sigh with the words she had said. I hate to admit but she's right. Ako ang gagawa ng sarili kong kapalaran. If I'll turn my back on this, I'll turn into a complete lost soul forever and I don't want that to happen to myself. I want to live in peace. Bahala na, I'll seek for his help. Papayag naman siguro si Iven, besides baka nga maawa pa siya sa akin diba? Kasi patay na ako. So maybe I can convince his mind. It's all or nothing.

We just stayed in Ilocos for three days. Hinihintay kasi namin na matapos 'yung bakasyon nung taong tumutulong kay Karelle bago kami bumalik sa Manila. Doon kasi nakatira 'yung tao. Kaya ang ginagawa ko lang muna ngayon ay ang pagbisita sa bahay namin dito.

My parents are still here. Hindi ko alam kung may balak silang bumalik ulit ng Manila, pero hinihiling ko na sana oo. Ayoko kasing kinukulong nila ang sarili nila sa lungkot, I want them to move forward and continue living dahil ganun namam talaga ang buhay diba? After a rain there's a rainbow.

I know it's not easy for them, because losing someone was never been to easy. It's difficult and heartbreaking. But I'm still hoping that they will move on. So that my mom could set me free. So that I can't be a lost soul anymore. Para mas maging madali na lang ito para sa akin.