Love After Life

Prologue

He started strumming the guitar as he sang our favorite song.

"I wanna grow old with you. I wanna die lying in your arms. I wanna grow old with you. I wanna be looking in your eyes. I wanna be there for you."

Tinititigan ko siyang kumanta habang nakapikit ang kaniyang mga mata at nakangiti ang labi. He always play this song for me, because as the song said, he wants to grow old with me...

Kung pwede lang sana...kung pagbibigyan lang ako ng isa pang pagkakataon ay pipiliin ko ring tumanda kasama niya dahil mahal na mahal ko siya. He's my everything now.

He opened his eyes as he sang the last lyric of the chorus. 

Pero hindi pwede, hindi kami pwede sa isa't isa. I can't help but to feel sad by thinking about that thought. Akala ko isang malaking kalokohan lamang ang katagang, pinagtagpo ngunit hindi itinadhana, pero mali pala ako dahil ako na mismo ang nakakaranas nito.

Hindi kami pwede sa isa't dahil patay na ako, samantalang siya buhay na buhay. Isa lang akong kaluluwa na kinakailangan ang tulong niya.

"Hey, why are you crying?"

He asked me worriedly as he moved closer to me. He is always like that. A caring guy.  He tried caressing my cheek, pero wala akong naramdaman. I can't feel his warmth. I can't hold his hand. I just can't because I'm just a soul. At iyon ang pinakamasakit. He's so close to me yet I can't touch him.

Iniwas ko ang tingin sakanya. Ito na Amery, you have to do this. You have to save him. Don't be selfish.

"Stop helping me, Iven."

I said with a cold tone. I need to do this. Kailangan ko siyang ipagtabuyan para wala nang masaktan. Para hindi na siya mahirapan pa.

Nakita ko sa gilid ng aking mga mata ang pagsalubong ng kaniyang mga kilay.

"What?! No, I won't break my promise to you, Amery. You know that I'm not a guy who usually breaks promises."

Giit niya. I know, kaya nga kita minahal eh. Palihim akong napangisi dahil sa sagot niya. Hindi niya alam ang kaniyang sinasabi.

"Stop loving me, Iven."

I said again. Kailangan niya itong marinig upang magising na siya na hindi talaga kami pwede sa isa't isa. I saw he held my hand, pero gaya kanina wala akong naramdaman.

"Ano bang sinasabi mo Amery? Are you not okay? Are you pranking me? This is a joke right?" Nahalata ko ang sakit sa tono ng kaniyang boses. How I wish I was just pranking you, Iven. Pero hindi eh. Seryoso na ito.

I looked at him with no feelings. No emotions.

"I'm not joking around. Stop loving me."

Walang lumabas na emosyon sa aking bibig habang sinasabi ko iyon. Well, ganito naman talaga dapat diba? We souls shouldn't feel any kind of emotions. Kasi patay na kami. Matagal na kaming nagpa-alam sa mundong ginagalawan ng mga tao.

"You know I wouldn't do that kind of thing, Amery. You know how much I love you. Even if you're a soul, to me it doesn't matter, it doesn't change the fact that I love you."

Mas lalo akong nasasaktan habang naririnig ko ang kaniyang boses na tila nahihirapan dahil sa akin. What did I do to have Iven in my life? Hindi ko alam kung masuwerte ba ako o malas, dahil tinatanong ko rin ang aking sarili. Why now? Why did I found him after I died? At bakit siya pa ang nakatadhanang taong tutulong sa akin?

Ang daya mo talaga tadhana. Why do you like hurting people? Why do you always play with us mischievously? Why are you so very unfair?

I stared at his eyes. I can't help but to feel sad, thinking that I wouldn't see his eyes anymore. The reason why I feel inlove for him. His eyes that usually talks.

I'm sorry Iven but I need to do this one. I need to leave you. I don't want to be selfish. I just want the best for you. Because that's love.

You just can't be stuck with a ghost like me. You need to fall in love with a person whom you can touch and hold onto, and I'm not that woman who is destined for you. Because I'm just now a mere soul. I'm just nothing.

-:-
ecyela