Secrets | Reddie Fanfic

Sleep

September 9. Friday.

Richie Tozier has been sleeping in my bed every single night for an entire week now. My mom still has no idea, we're very sneaky. Luckily,  she works late almost all of the time. And I made him park his car on the curb in between my house and our neighbors. On Tuesday we were able to pick up a bunch of Richie's clothes and bring them to my house, along with his favorite guitar pick. He had dozens of guitar picks yet no guitar. Maybe at one point he had one that his father didn't approve of, but I never ask about that. I have never loved something harder than the mere thought of getting to both fall asleep and wake up next to Richie. Something about him was so warm, so welcoming. His body asleep was peaceful. He was never fully at ease while awake.

I like staying awake a little past him for that reason in specific. Richie Tozier was larger than me. More friends, more popularity, more fuel. But Richie needs protection, and a lot of it. While he sleeps, I get to watch over him for a small period of time before I drift off with him. When he is conscious, he never asks for help. I think he asked Cassie for help, and often. But he never asked me to care or do things for him. Maybe part of it was because I knew what to do before he even had to ask. If I saw he felt objectified in school, I'd whisper and let him know he's beautiful. If he fell into a whole of curiosity about Cassie, or Miles, or his father, I'd tell him he's strong and the bravest person I've ever met. If he got sad, I let him know it was okay to cry. And he cried.

Tuesday night he begged me to give him his car keys, but I couldn't. I didn't want him going anywhere near that disgusting house of his, no matter what. It was almost ten at night and his father was home. Richie is far too frail to get into another physical altercation with that man, I will not allow myself to just let that happen. He begged me to let him check on his mother, but I was too scared. His intentions were lovely but I couldn't risk it. I think he knew I was right deep down. He cried so hard but he never actually tried grabbing the car keys from me. He cried until he was out of breath and he fell into my arms. Then he cried until he passed out. I didn't move once, I let him sleep in my arms the entire night. I found out that Richie checked in on his mom, fed her most nights, and looked out for her life almost every day. For the past three years, she never let him get too close. He hasn't touched her in a while. But he leaves food at her doorstep and calls out just to hear her voice reply. He looked after her even if she didn't do the same for him.

Wednesday night was my favorite. It started just the same as any other, hooking up and me performing oral activities onto him. Richie gave me a handjob once, but he didn't need to touch me like that. He was good at getting me aroused by just a simple kiss and look. I think that the simplest touch from Richie was equivalent to my best effort at giving him head, but Richie made me feel good about myself. Wednesday, I felt especially good. He was being even more dominant with me, not allowing me to budge. This time, he gave me head. And he covered my mouth with his hand tightly. He told me not to make sound no matter how badly I needed to moan. And when things got too intense for me, so intense I was going to break at any second, he stuck his fingers in my mouth. He shoved them as far as they'd go right before I actually were to gag. Once that was completed, he penetrated himself against the inside of my thigh, right between it and my hip. The friction between our bodies rubbing together made me crazy. He was great at calling me names too. Making me feel special and wanted. My body is racing just thinking about it.

I get nightmares some nights. I've been getting them occasionally since I was very young. My doctor called them night terrors and suggested that I write them down everytime they occur. At first I didn't, I was only eight. Then they got worse, so I began keeping track of them. They seemed to have the same recurring plot. I was floating in complete darkness, no people, no noise anywhere. Then all of a sudden a light shines in the distance, but it's not a comforting light, more like an eerie one. I try to stay away from it but my body floats towards it anyway.I'd be inches away from that light and I'd start to hear a horrible screeching sound that drove me to tears. I yell and I kick and scream and try my hardest to fight. Only, I fight both in my dream and in reality. They don't happen as much anymore, but it happened Thursday night. I kicked Richie and I yelled, but he woke me up. He was scared to death just like I was, but he still ran his fingers through my hair and let his lips brush my cheeks. He told me everything was okay. He said it was just him and I and that there was nothing I should fear. He told me how much he loved me and would never let anything hurt me. And I believed him. Richie wouldn't let me go the rest of that night. Even when we were both sweaty, he didn't let me go.

I sleep naked now, and so does he. Even if we don't hook up prior, we still sleep without clothes. Richie told me he liked the way our bodies felt against each other, but I thought underwear was enough to satisfy. In all honesty, I was uncomfortable with the idea at first. No one's seen or felt my body the way Richie has, and even that sometimes intimidated me. When I expressed my apprehensiveness, he made me feel secure. Richie made me confident. He told me how he liked my back, not too long but sturdy for someone as petite as I. He said he liked my legs, and my thighs, and the way they brushed against his. He said he liked my stomach and my chest and how my pecs feel underneath his fingers when his hand is resting there. He even said he liked my intimate parts, their size and shape, and such. Richie made me feel good about who I was, and I must say, I now understand his mindset. Being completely vulnerable, skin on skin, is a nice feeling.

I'm writing this in study hall, being extremely careful no one can peek over at it. In a few hours we're going to another party at Michelle's house. One of her friends is moving back in town, along with that friends twin I believe. The Losers don't know who it is, they're just excited to drink. I think this party is going to be very different than the last one. I think I might even be looking forward to it.

Goodbye.

Ps, I don't know how long Richie is going to be staying with me, but I am totally not opposed to forever.