Cahira (On-Going)

4: Shooting the Blackball

For the entire afternoon, I only paced back and forth; thinking of the devil's contract.

Okay, hindi ko talaga alam kung dapat ko bang pagkatiwalaan 'yang Castiel na 'yan. But he has something against me! Wala naman siyang sinet na deadline or what but I feel so pressured! I don't know what to do!

Napaupo na lang ako sa grass at sumandal sa puno. Nandito pa rin ako sa park. Medyo nagdidilim na rin pero pakiramdam ko ang tagal ng oras. I need some distraction.

I got my phone and searched for the nearest bar. Buti na lang at meron plus walking distance pa!

Hindi na ako nagpadalos-dalos at naglakad na ako. My spirit yearns for this! I really need to chill because of all the stress that happened to me.

Finally, I'm on my destination. Buti na lang at hindi strikto ang bouncer kaya mabilis akong makapasok. Well, I'm not a minor anyway.

I ordered my usual beverage and immediately gulped. What a refreshment, parang nawala stress ko dahil dito.

"Iinom ka lang ganoon?"

Napapikit na lang ako sa frustration upon hearing his voice. Kailan ba niya ako tatantanaaaaaan?!

"Anong gusto mo?" pilit akong ngumiti at humarap sa kaniya. Kating-kati na talaga ang mga kamao ko na suntukin siya! Kung nasa Manila lang kami, sinuntok ko na talaga ito dahil hindi ako mapapatapon doon!

"Do you know the rule of thumb?"

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my drink. Rule of thumb? Ano na namang pakulo 'yan?

"No. Bahala ka diyan."

"No? Your background told me otherwise."

Napatingin ulit ako dahil sa sinabi niya. Background? Nababasa niya utak ko---okay, naniwala na ako---pero...

"You knew it," he smiled.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako bago sumagot, "I heard it before. It's actually a guideline based on one's experience. Oh, ano na namang gusto mo iparating?"

I quickly changed the topic. Ayaw ko nang tanungin ako kung paano ko nalaman.

"The general rule," he responded with a smile. Oh, well. Lagi naman siyang nakangiti! "What's your rule of thumb?"

I only rolled my eyes. Rule of thumb? I'm Cahira. I have no rules for myself. I only do what I want to do.

"Actually, 'yang paniniwala mo 'yung mismong rule mo," he butted in. I knew it, he read my thoughts again. Sasabihin ko pa lang sana, eh.

"A place with no rules? It's not true. The statement 'there are no rules' is a actually a rule. Thinking that you are not bounded by rules is actually a toxic rule that you set for yourself."

"So what are you trying to imply?" tinaasan ko lang siya ng kilay. Ang dami niyang sinasabi, hindi na lang direct to the point.

"Wala lang," he beamed.

Padabog kong nilapag ang shot glass at sinamaan siya ng tingin, "Wala?! Sinundan-sundan mo pa ako rito sa bar para lang diyan sa feeling words of wisdom mo?! Hindi mo ba ako pwedeng tantanan?!"

"Chill. May hypertension ka ba?" akmang ibubuhos ko sana ang alak sa mukha niya pero nahawakan niya agad ang wrists ko. Nakakapikon talaga itong lalaking ito!

"UMALIS KA!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. Akala ko hihirit pa siya but he only raised his two arms as if he's surrendering. Tahimik na rin siyang lumabas ng bar.

I noticed other customer's gaze. Makatingin naman itong mga ito parang ngayon lang nakakita ng taong sinisigawan. I gulped my drink and immediately went out.