Another way to life!

Uncertainty is the certain part of life.

Nothing is certain in this life but I assure you "Uncertainty" is the certain part of life. If you will observe and ponder over the lives of most successful and contented people around you. You will notice that they have accepted the "uncertainty" of life. You will find them resonating with the flux of life. On the other hand you will also find the people crying over the possibilities. Everybody is living life, in a state where he kept looking over past possibilities (what could have been) and future possibilities ( what will be) along their present moments. Discrepancy occurs when any of these possibility overshadows the others two.  

Insight of three different lives would surely help us to understand this idea further. Recognition of the issue is the first step for every solution. 

A Guy stuck in the past :-

Now at the age of 43, I feel it is very important to be honest with myself. Honesty means to admit that "I have wasted a life over nothing." At least today, it is nothing. I was in love with a lady and I had spent 13 years of my life on her. I hope everybody understands that they were not just 13 years of my life. I have spent myself on her, all of my emotions, sacrificed things for her in the name of love.  Then a day came, when she decided to leave me for someone else. I was still there, trying to figure out what was my fault ? I had given all of me into that single relationship. Family was fair to me but with the time, family bonding goes through ups and downs and I was all alone in my mental prison. It was even harder to share the pain and how to justify myself ! what I did to deserve this ? 

I wanted an escape or a revenge, you can say. I have spoiled 13 more lives with me. I have abused them emotionally. These people were like pigs in my laboratory and I was trying to figure out how much I can break in a person after all someone had broken me too. I induced love and attachment with them, they trusted me with their nudes and then I was use to laugh at those stupid girls. I never loved any of her neither pity any of her. I enjoyed their tears and sorrows to get my attention and love. I won't justify myself with anything, what I did that was pure evil but the history of mankind is full of evilest things. They say don't write dark, don't cinematography dark and they are just denying the fact that human nature is dark too. Accepting reality is dark too ! 

I had spent next three years doing this revenge. To the day when someone asked me "Are you getting peace out of it ? You are putting in lots of efforts, pretensions and lies to hurt those who could possibly love you. So, are you sure this is exactly soothing you, the way you want it ? " That was the day of my realization. It was a "day of rebirth'' to me. I was curing my pain, by inflicting more pain to others. How could I heal ? How could anyone can heal this way ? 

Darkness is the part of human nature but not all of it. Its a balance between both. The love that is gone for few monetary gains was not even a thing that I dreamt of. I was blinded by the love, by the time I spent on it. I was not ready to see the other side and to make it worst I have done hell to other people too. Apology won't be enough and sorry can't fix what I had broken but I am trying to change it. I am looking at life from a broader perspective and that is when I realized that Its just a life with lots of lessons. It is very important to share that 13 years I lived by my heart and soul is not a waste. Life you live by your passion is worth retrieving, even if its a moment. Whatever she had chosen for her, that's her decision. I have wasted only three years and now I am trying to fix as much as I can. What I needed for this transformation was "detach yourself from all the emotions, belongings and expectations, look back at the situation with a fair eye." Its all there.

A lady anticipating the future :- 

I was no exception; just like society, I was a part of it. Like all other girls of my age, all  my happiness and hopes were intertwined with my future marriage. I was use to say I will do this after marriage, I will go there after marriage, I will try that after marriage. I could even say I will breath after marriage ! I was programmed this way.  It won't be wrong to say I was waiting for my marriage to live my life. Complaining with norms and customs, I got married at the age of 24 after my graduation. 

As marital life started, I realized that this was not the life that I kept anticipating. But on the other hand I never ever had thought about "what if my marriage did not go expected way ?" Our society does not teach us how to save yourself from a bad marriage but it kept preaching how hard a girl should try to save a bad marriage. I had gone through humiliation, domestic violence, marital rape and everything worst that I could not even think. He was really sick (my husband), someday when he beat me brutally and I spent whole day thinking "what I did wrong?"  The purpose of my life change from living it to surviving it everyday. World does not know that our male dominated society also believe in "wonder woman". The one who goes through ignominy, scorn and third degree and still stays in same marriage, is a wonder woman. As I was no exception to the norms, I was simply trying to be a wonder woman too and why should I deviate from norms ????

I took this wonder woman too seriously, to the day when he tried to burn me alive. When I woke up, I found my body half burnt. That day I got a rough idea of hell too. 27 years of my life, I was use to see a beautiful body and today that beauty is gone. I was there with my ugly body and thinking "Where I went wrong ?" That day when I looked back at my life, an idea illuminated my soul and a voice I heard, it was saying " you were supposed to live this life, you were supposed to live all of it but you had chosen other way ............. you kept waiting to live and you did not live any of it !" If I had grasped this idea early in my life then I could be a different person with a very different life. But its never to late to live !

A guy who never grew up :-

Being only child of my parents made me apple of their eyes. I was use to get everything I wanted. I was beloved of every one in the family. Being rich, I could afford anything without even waiting. It made me impulsive and very stubborn. I have seen life this way and lived it in this way. This road took me to drugs, brothels and bad company. I did it all because I could afford all of it. 

I did not know to do anything better with my life. A licentious life with no destination, no aim and no insight. If I am happy I will party hard, if something goes wrong I will party hard. At the age of 30 when I lost my parents, lost some business deals and failed few important relationships ............ All I did was "party hard." I never sit with myself, never tried to resolve the marvelous mystery created by universe in the form of me. I never dealt with important questions about life like if I am happy ? if I am living this life truly ? if I am learning and growing everyday ? if I am adding up value in other's life  ? if I am a human being in true essence ? 

One day all these important questions hit me. By that time, I was all alone surrounded by griefs and repentance. I had nobody by my side, people too had gone with money. I was sitting in darkness, just breathing and wondering what I did to life ? 

Interpretation :-

Wisdom is the gift of universe to mankind. Wisdom is the ability of a person to know where to use his/her words, energy and efforts and where to be passive in all possible ways. When you or me think about possibilities, we should think equally on the whole spectrum of possibility. It is not only fun to sit at the both ends of table but its is also very important to understand the things from different perspectives. It gives you better vision and broader comprehension. As I said earlier '' life is a product of phases and universe is a blend of colours.'' A wise man must know the value of all the phases and importance of variation of situations in life. Wise is the one who knows nobody is born wise, we all are learners at different levels. Fluctuations, on the way are the source of learning.