"Funny" stories I made using a generator to make my friends laugh

The Ribbed Book

(Thunder is one of Hunt's characters... ;-;)

A Short Story
by Olix The Cat

Olix Feline had always hated wild The Forest with its fantastic, fine fields. It was a place where he felt relaxed.
He was a tight-fisted, clever, brandy drinker with greasy toes and sloppy legs. His friends saw him as a doubtful, dry do gooder. Once, he had even helped a sore disabled person cross the road. That's the sort of man he was.
Olix walked over to the window and reflected on his backward surroundings. The drizzle rained like cooking horses.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Thunder Wolf. Thunder was an intuitive knight with charming toes and ugly legs.
Olix gulped. He was not prepared for Thunder.
As Olix stepped outside and Thunder came closer, he could see the grotesque glint in her eye.
Thunder gazed with the affection of 2156 loving knobbly kittens. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a phone number."
Olix looked back, even more anxious and still fingering the ribbed book. "Thunder, hands up or I'll shoot," he replied.
They looked at each other with ambivalent feelings, like two teeny-tiny, talented toads sitting at a very remarkable funeral, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two giving uncles eating to the beat.
Suddenly, Thunder lunged forward and tried to punch Olix in the face. Quickly, Olix grabbed the ribbed book and brought it down on Thunder's skull.
Thunder's charming toes trembled and her ugly legs wobbled. She looked stable, her emotions raw like a terrible, tiny torch.
Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Thunder Wolf was dead.
Olix Feline went back inside and made himself a nice glass of brandy.

THE END