Alice in... her Dreamland?

the Gruesome Twosome

"I just realized how ironic this all this," I said, looking at Peter.

"Continue." He stated as he flicked the torn blades of grass into my face.

Completely unfased I looked up at the sky. "This is wonderland! My name, is Alice! How did this only just register to me?"

"Your human brain is too slow to comprehend it as quickly as you had wished."

"Shut up," I bantered as I hit him playfully. He smiled and pushed me. This was it. This was how I had imagined life would be like of Peter could talk... Waaiiit a second. Peter was !y best animal friend... And he has become what i had always wished he would be.

"Exactly," he stated as if he had read my mind. Suddenly, Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball errupted from his pocket. Uhhhhh. "Sorry, i gotta take this." He mumbled with a grim look on his face as he got up and walked away.

~On the phone~

P: What Dumbass

DEE: Dumbasses

P: Well what the hell is the difference, you two have the same brain

DUMB: No we have the same thinking patterns

P: Since when are you smart enough to say that

Both: We heard that

P: Good. Why did you call?

DEE: We have a minor emergency

P: how big? (I could practically hear the eyeroll)

DUMB: Chess may or may not have lost his smile

P: I'll be there as soon as i can

DEE: now would be a hell of a lot better

P: No shit....

~End of conversation~

"Uhh..."

"Shut up and get in the van."

"What van?"

"The bigass blue one behind you." I turned around and sure enough there was a big, blue van behind me. Peter gave me a very annoyed look and motioned for me to get my butt in the dang thing. Reluctantly... I did. I settled myself into the passenger seat and he plopped down into the driver side and slammed the door.

"So... what's going on?"
"You're about to meet  the two most horrible people in all of dream land."

"The Red Queen?" 

"No, she's only one. You're about to meet the Tweedle Twins."

"Oh... you seem really pissed. I thought everything here was supposed to be perfect."

"It is... for you. For me it can be quite miserable at times."

"Oh." I suffered the rest of the short ride in silence. There was no road, we just drove on whatever was in our way. His knuckles turned starch white as he gripped it with all he had... he was REALLY pissed. "What are they like?" I inquired as we slowed to a stop.

"Stupid." He mumbled as he got out and ran with his arms waving above his head toward two girls... I thought the Tweedle Twins were supposed to be guys... "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF INTRODUCING ALICE TO DREAMLAND!"

"Alice?" they both asked in unison.

"YES ALICE NOW TELL ME WHAT THE EF YOU WERE THINKING YOU DUMB BRATS!" 

"We were just messing with him..." said the dark haired one.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say Tweedle Dumb! I wanna hear it from the brains in every operation you two pull!"

"It actually wasn't my idea this time Peter." sighed the one I'm assuming was Dee. She looked sincere. I got out of the van and slowly made my way towards the group.

"But it couldn't have been me!" exclaimed Tweedle Dumb. "I'm too dumb."

"And it also couldn't have been me because we have the same brain." Said Dee. I could practically see the steam coming from Peters ears wait... he still has his ears. huh, I hever really noticed that.

"Shut uop and just tell me who is responsible!" Shouted Peter as the twins first pointed at eachother, then themselves, then me, then Peter. They just kept pointing! I was kind of getting impatient too. 

"Will you two just grow up and tell the dammned rabbit?!"I yelled at the top of my lungs. They all looked at me, stunned. "Are you gonna tell him now?" I asked, much more calmly. 

"It was me..." Tweedle Dumb said, her face down cast. Not a peep came from Dee.

"Thank you Alice. Thank you Dumb. Now, lets go hunt down Chess... and then find the poor cats smile." He groaned as he trudgged back to the van. "Are you all coming or what?" I quickly follwed him and resumed my previous poistition while the Tweedles sat in benches in the back like prisoners. And off we were again like a colony of rabbits.