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Chapter 14

Sorry about the delays in updating. I've had a touch of writers block the last few days and struggling to get back into the flow.

I have a really weird way of writing sometimes. I tend to write what I'm feeling and if I'm not 'feeling' a certain chapter or part, I'll skip and go back to it...
Then I fill it in later on...
But I haven't wanted to fill in lately 😂🙈

Anyway I digress...

Enjoy the chapter!

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The journey to the captains quarters was a silent one. It took all of Illyria’s energy to not just collapse, her legs shaking, she felt so weak. Levi helped support her, one arm wrapped around her lower back, hand holding her waist her his other hand gripped her elbow to keep her standing. It was an uncomfortable position, but given the state of her back he was left with little other options.

He quickly opened the door and led her to the couch, slowly releasing her.

“Kneel.” He instructed and Illyria was more than happy to comply, practically falling to her knees with Levi guiding her down gently, placing her so that she was knelt in front of the couch. Levi left her for a moment to go and fetch some supplies from the cabinet in his bathroom, quickly washing all of the blood that saturated his hands from the recent whipping.

Illyria was shivering, still struggling to catch her breath. She rested her forehead against the soft leather of the couch, closing her eyes and focused on steadying her breathing. She heard Levi return and kneel down behind her. He reached for the buttons of her shirt and started undoing them quickly.

He popped open the last button and carefully removed her shirt, eyes immediately drawn to the damage at her back. Illyria shivered when her skin came into contact with the cool air. She felt Levi’s fingers softly traipse along the back of her neck, gently pushing her hair to the side and out of the way.

“I need to stop the bleeding and then we need to clean your wounds.” He explained, reaching for an ice pack and wrapping it in a small face towel and then wrapping one of his silk cravats around that. He knew the towel would feel rough against her wounded skin, wrapping it in the silk would help ease the pain a little. Illyria nodded her head, biting her bottom lip and closing her eyes.

Levi pressed the ice to a deep laceration on her right shoulder tenderly, noticing how she flinched and let out a small whimper, her body shivering as the cold came into contact with her burning skin. He dabbed it several times, moving the material as gently as he could over the deep wound. Blood trickled from the numerous incisions on her back, some were deeper than others, some had already started to scab over while others were still open. Her back was littered in countless welts that had not cut the skin, angry looking thin red lines in varying directions all over her previously unmarred flesh.

He applied more pressure to the wound he was treating, resulting in the woman yelping out and flinching, trying to pull away.

“No, keep still. I know it hurts, but you need to keep still.” He warned, not relenting in his actions for even a second. Illyria released a long shaky breath, squeezing her eyes shut tightly as the pain wracked through her body.

“This will help reduce swelling and help stop the bleeding quickly.” He explained and Illyria nodded, remaining still and silent.

Levi continued to treat her wounds, moving from the one on her right shoulder to another particularly angry slit on her left side, slicing from the bottom of her shoulder blade and curving round, ending at her hip bone. Illyria felt her body begin to relax a little the longer he continued, still trembling, mostly from the cold now but the pain was subsiding ever so slightly.

When Levi finally stopped, he stood, discarding the blood soaked cravat and towel and throwing them in a wash basket. Illyria noticed that both of the pieces of fabric were literally dripping with her blood.

The captain knelt down, gently taking her by her arms and helped her to her feet.

“Come with me.” He instructed. Illyria followed him, allowing herself to be escorted into his bathroom, noticing how his fingers were smeared with blood. Once inside the bathroom, Levi set her down on the edge of the bath, crouching down and undoing her boots, pulling them off and discarding them to the sides as his fingers deftly moved to her trousers. He popped open the button and slid the zipper down before hoisting her back to her feet and yanked her trousers to her ankles, his actions lacking any previous delicacy and almost making Illyria stumble over in the process.

Her hand shot out, grabbing Levi’s shoulder for support as he lifted one of her legs and pulled it free from the confines of her white bottoms, moving to give the other leg the same treatment. He stood, looking the cadet in the eyes briefly before his eyes turned to the cut on her cheek. He reached forward, taking Illyria’s chin in his hand and turned her head to examine the cut more closely. After a moment he stepped away, turning to the shower and switching it on. He fiddled with the temperature for a moment, fingers dancing under the running water before he stepped back. He looked at Illyria again, removing his jacket and hanging it on a towel rail.

“Get in.” He instructed softly, head nodding towards the shower as he undid the buttons to his sleeve, rolling them up to his elbows. Illyria took a step forward and was about to get in when she winced and pulled back.

“It’s cold.” She commented, looking at the captain with red, uncertain eyes. Levi nodded.

“Mm hm. It’s meant to be.” He replied, his eyes not leaving Illyria’s for a moment. Her brows creased slightly in mild confusion.

“Why?” She asked, glancing between the shower and her captain and he took a hold of her elbow, urging her forward.

“Lots of reasons. It will draw blood away from the surface of the skin and help reduce your stress levels, for starters.” He responded, continuing to urge her into the shower. Illyria blinked but stepped into the shower. Levi positioned her accordingly, turning her so the running water cascaded onto her shoulders and down her back.

Illyria gasped, the cold water stung at her skin and her shivering intensified. She brought her arms up to her chest and pressed them close to her, trying to shield her body and retain some of her body heat.

She felt exposed like this, standing in the shower in such a useless condition in nothing but her underwear. She glanced at Levi, who had his head tilted so he could examine her back, staring intently.

“How... do you know... this... will help?” Illyria stuttered, noticing Levi’s lips twitch slightly, eyes locking onto hers for a moment before returning to her back, fingers gently pressing into her arm to move her around a little bit more.

“Because unfortunately, I’m good friends with that crazy bitch, Hanji.” He deadpanned, taking a step back and drying his hands and arms on a towel.

“Stay there and don’t move.” And he left, leaving the bathroom door open. Illyria nodded to herself, gently rubbing her arms. She was freezing, but she stayed still as Levi requested. He returned some time later, switching off the shower and took her arm, pulling softly.

“Get out.” Illyria stepped out of the shower, frowning slightly. Levi picked up a towel and stood behind her, gently patting her shoulders. He took exceptional care when drying off her back. The ends of her hair were wet from the shower, dripping water back on to her body and he clicked his tongue, moving her hair to hang over her shoulders.

“Come with me.” He said, his voice much softer than before, quieter, and he led her back into the bedroom. Illyria felt the warmth from the room hit her and she let out a soft sigh, noticing that the fire in the room was roaring. She appreciated it more than Levi knew. He led her to in front of the fire and took the towel from her body, allowing it to fall to the floor. Illyria began to really take in the room properly. Though she had been in here before, she had never really paid that much attention to the room.

The fireplace was huge, almost taking up the entire wall opposite the bed. Above the fireplace, hung a beautiful mirror with a golden frame, just as big as the fireplace. To her right was the window and a small table and armchair, along with the captains armoire and a chest of drawers. And to her left was the door that led to his office, another door to the bathroom, and his bed was behind her. Illyria glanced at the captain through the mirror. He was looking at her softly, moving her hair out the way again as his eyes met hers in the reflection. He averted his gaze, reaching for a small bottle on the table.

Without saying a word he unhooked Illyria’s bra, the back strap flying open and her arms shot up to hold the garment to her body. She shot him a glare but he didn’t notice, far too focused on the task at hand. He scooped some of the ointment onto his fingers and gently traced his tips over her wounds. Illyria watched him through the mirror. She doubted she had ever seen him look so focused. He took such care, touched her with a softness that Illyria didn’t know he had in him.

“Are you alright?” Levi finally broke the silence, asking her a question he already knew the answer to, but determined to break the ice. He looked at her and she released a breath she didn’t realise she had been holding. She licked her lips, averting her eyes and gave a small nod.

“Yeah, fine.” She lied. Levi continued to watch what he was doing.

“Are you angry at me?” Illyria frowned into the fire. The flames dancing beautifully together, the loud crackling pleasing to her, forcing her to relax a little despite the recent events.

“Yes.” She responded, her voice holding a certain bite to it and Levi nodded. He understood. He would be angry too.

“But not for the reasons you’re thinking.” She concluded. Levi glanced at her and she held his stare with defiance. He gave a small sigh, picking up the towel and wiping his hands clean. He walked to the small table and picked up several bandages.

“I know.” Was all he said as he began dressing her body with the bandages. Illyria cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Aren’t you going to talk about it?” she asked, trying adamantly to address the matter.

“No.” Was the captains unwavering reply. His voice harder than she was expecting. She scoffed, shaking her head in mild irritation.

“Of course not...” she whispered, mostly to herself, though she knew he heard it. Levi continued to fixate on what he was doing, ignoring her smart ass remark.

“You’re going to need to take that off and move your arms.” Levi nodded forward, indicating to the bra Illyria was still clutching. She gave him a hard glare for a second, unsure herself whether it was directed at his attempt to change the conversation or the request itself. Nevertheless she yielded, dropping her arms and shuffling out of the bra. Levi’s gaze did not falter, holding her eye contact before returning to his previous task. Illyria was quietly impressed with his resolve.

Levi tended to her, bandaging up all her wounds and securing them firmly before he picked up one of his fresh shirts and draped it around her shoulders, helping her get into it. Illyria’s hands moved to fasten the buttons.

“Thank you.” She whispered and Levi gave a small nod before his fingers found their way to her hips, curling into the waistband of her knickers and tugging them down. Illyria bristled slightly, eyes widening at the unforeseen action and her hand instinctively grabbed his wrist. Levi looked at her reflection softly, noticing her surprise.

“They’re wet.” He commented casually and Illyria pressed her lips together, nodding as she released his wrist and allowed him to strip her of her underwear. Levi picked up her undergarments and the towel as she fastened the last button and turned to face him. He reached out with his other hand, thumb gently tracing the cut on her cheek.

“I told you to keep your head down.” She only nodded. What else could she say? She swallowed and sighed. Silence reigned for a moment, neither of them really knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry about this.” Levi’s voice was compassionate, expressing his sympathy to the incident that had recently occurred. The tenderness caught Illyria off guard, she glanced at him, observing the penitent look in his eyes and without thinking, she took hold of the hand that was caressing her face.

“Don’t be. I don’t blame you for this. It was out of your hands. I understand.” Levi heaved a huge sigh, taking his hand back, clearly becoming uncomfortable with the situation and nodded for Illyria to take a seat on the bed.

“Sit down, I’ll bring you some tea.” He instructed as he left the room, dropping more laundry into the wash basket on his way out. Illyria looked after the man as he left before taking a seat quietly at the edge of the bed. She felt incredibly drained after her ordeal, it had literally taken everything our of her. But she did feel much more at ease than she had done before coming to Levi’s quarters. Her entire back stung with a phenomenal intensity, she could feel the subtle pulsing of her skin as her heart beat in her chest. The muscles themselves, felt sore. The pain was beyond excruciating, yet it was nothing compared to the lashing itself. Still she felt calm. Her heart beating in a steady rhythm, her breathing, though awkward, was relaxed, her mind quite clear.

Levi returned some time later, handing Illyria a cup of tea and she smiled softly, thanking him before taking a sip. The raven haired man sat on the floor, back pressing against the edge of the bed as he sipped his own beverage. Illyria smiled.

“Do I smell?” she teased, causing Levi to frown.

“You’ve just had a shower, of course you don’t smell.” He retorted, oblivious to her humour. She smiled more.

“Then why don’t you come and sit up here by me?” she tapped the spot next to her for emphasis and Levi glared at her, unsure of how to answer. He took another sip of his tea.

“I’m comfortable here.” He finally grit out. Illyria rolled her eyes at the impassive captain, but couldn’t stop the small smile that tugged it’s way onto her lips. He really wasn’t so cold. He just had his own way of showing he cared and an unshakeable will to not let it show.

Eventually, Levi stood, taking the now empty cup from Illyria.

“You will stay here tonight.” He decreed, his tone even and assertive. Illyria raised an eyebrow, eyes looking up to the captain, who avoided her gaze. A part of her wanted to challenge him. Just the other day, he had had a problem with her simply visiting him and sitting with him in his office to pass the time, now he was asking her to stay the night? No, ordering her to. She felt aggrieved by his suggestion, feeling that he only wanted her there now to ease his own guilt. Her brows furrowed slightly.

“Problem, Light?” the ever observant captain had noticed her disaffected look, deciding to question why her attitude had suddenly switched. Illyria seemed to contemplate for a moment, before she finally shook her head.

“No sir. No problem.” He gave a small nod, not believing her for an instant, but deciding to not press further.

“Good. Get into bed. Your wounds will need tending to in the morning.” He turned, about to leave the room for the night when Illyria called out to him, forcing him to stop in his tracks.

“Levi...” he paused, jaw clenching at the sound of his name leaving her lips. She barely called him by name, in fact the only times he had heard it was during a heat of the moment encounter, or once before, when she had asked to visit him. He felt his heart begin to quicken, a thousand thoughts running through his head of what she could potentially say next. He took in a deep breath, trying to tighten his resolve as he turned to face the auburn haired cadet on his bed. She looked at him softly, her eyes still red from earlier tears, fingers picking at her nails nervously, lips trembling ever so slightly.

“Will you stay with me a while? Please?” and there it was. The one request he had dreaded coming from her mouth. Mostly because he had no idea what to do with it.

He knew Illyria was not okay. He knew today would have taken a lot out of her, physically, mentally and emotionally. She had been hurt ruthlessly, by someone who she had admitted to having limitless trust in. Humiliated in front of her friends and comrades. Her body and spirit pushed to the point of breaking. She needed some form of solace. Some sort of warmth. Levi felt he owed it to her, to comply with her simple request to simply stay with her a while, considering he had been the one to distribute her punishment, effectively being the cause to her current upheaval.

A part of him even wanted to do it. To stay and help ease the turmoil he had caused. Not just today but for the way he had handled their previous encounter. Levi was not a fool. He had known the minute Illyria had left his office after he had pushed her away, that he had upset her, and he could understand why she was bitter. She had only asked to be in his company, and he had dismissed the idea of it heartlessly. And considering their encounter the night before, he could appreciate why she would be so upset. But Levi was not good with these sorts of situations, and he was even more ill equipped to deal with the emotions and feelings said situations brought about. He had regretted casting her aside so flippantly immediately, but couldn’t find it in him to broach the subject. And even when she had touched upon it tonight, he had shut it down straightaway. He was not a man of words, much more a man of action. Hence why he had asked her to stay tonight.

A part of him had thought that asking her to stay tonight would compensate for his callous behaviour previously. Would convey an unspoken apology. And a part of him wanted to comply with her request just to show her that he did care, that he was sorry, and that he wasn’t the monster she thought he was.

But another part of him panicked. Reminded him that first and foremost, he was her superior. Her captain. Not a friend who offers comfort in times of need. A leader. One who had administered punishment to a disobedient soldier. And he had been well within his right to do so. He didn’t have to feel guilty about his actions, because they were warranted. He had simply carried out his commanders orders and disciplined a cadet. He would not succumb to these sorts of wishes had it been anybody else, and therefore, he should stand his ground and not treat this woman any differently to anyone else. He should keep things professional. He should not be weak. Levi was well aware of the dangerous ground he was walking on. Illyria was a firecracker at the best of times, tempestuous, and it would be quite likely that given a little leeway, she would only get worse. He had done his job. He had already gone above and beyond tonight, treating her wounds and ensuring she was safe. Staying with her should be out of the question, he had already done so much, more than what was necessary.

Then there was the thought that he was allowing himself to get far too close to this woman, and that brought about a whole different array of problems for him...

He shouldn’t feel compelled to stay. But he did.

He shouldn’t feel guilty. But he did.

He shouldn’t want to stay. But he did.

It should be out of the question. But it wasn’t.

She shouldn’t be different. But she was.

He should keep things professional. But it was too late.

Levi was torn.

And while he fought with his extensive unrest, Illyria noticed his hesitance. She averted her gaze, shaking her head slightly.

“Apologies, sir, I overstepped...”

“No.” Levi responded without delay, her voice snapping him back to his senses, the words left his mouth before he even had time to think of them.

“It’s fine.” He commented, placing the cups down on the bedside table. Illyria looked confusedly at him as he took a step closer. He held out his palm, indicating to the bed.

“Get in.” Illyria automatically started moving, although slower than she would have liked due to the pain she was still in. She slipped under the covers, scooting over to give the captain room. She heard him let out a long sigh as he got onto the bed, her heart warming at his response.

Levi rested his head against the headboard of the bed, half lying down and casually wrapped one arm around the back of his neck, the other resting across his abdomen. He would not get too comfortable here. He was silently questioning his own reaction. What on earth was he doing? His body had just sort of reacted on it’s own accord, he certainly did not agree to this. His brain was screaming at him right now.

“Thank you.” Illyria whispered, lying on her side to face the dark haired man beside her. He glanced at her for a brief second before turning his head back to it’s original position.

“Do not overthink this, Light. I’m leaving as soon as you fall asleep.” He spoke in a crisp manner, back to his usual distant self but Illyria just smiled.

“I know. But thank you anyway.” He glanced at her again, not quite knowing how to respond to that. She smiled at him softly, her hand reaching out to gently rest on his chest. Without thinking he gripped her wrist, bristling defensively at the contact but then paused. Illyria didn’t move, unsure of why she had reached out in the first place. She waited patiently, expecting Levi to throw her hand back at her. But he stopped, his grip loosening. He clicked his tongue.

“Go to sleep, brat.” He chided, allowing her to rest her hand on his chest. Illyria closed her eyes immediately, smiling softly into the pillow. The soft crackling of the fire and gentle thrumming of Levi’s heart against her palm lulling her into a deep sleep.

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A couple of my friends have asked/mentioned about changing this story up a bit with the occassional chapter from Levi's point of view...

I'm not sure?
I think they're just curious as to what he is thinking and how he is feeling etc but I don't know?
Would that work?
Is it something you would like to see too?
Let me know!

Vote/comment

Love you all ❤❤