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Chapter 16

Hi all.
No warnings for this chapter, bit of a filler but it may very well pick up a little bit again after this one.

Enjoy!

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Days passed in the castle. Historia tended to her wounds twice a day as requested and Eren had managed to get his hands on some unscented soap for her to bathe with. Historia had even brought Illyria food up to her room on several occasions, noticing how she hadn’t made it to the mess hall. Illyria barely left her room. She didn’t want to see anyone. Least of all Captain Levi.

She had forced Historia to the shower room with her every morning, hoping that if she had bumped into the captain, he would not approach her with Historia around, but as it was, she hadn’t seen him.

Hanji had examined her wounds and given her the go ahead to start light duties. Illyria had offered to clean Hanji's quarters, which had finally forced a smile out of the eccentric woman. She also cleaned the commanders quarters and even Levi’s. However, she was careful to tend to his quarters while he was busy training the cadets outside.

She had been cleaning the window in his office one morning, watching the training below. She was bored of being a cleaner to the superiors now, she wanted to be back training with her friends. She pouted slightly as she watched the other cadets engage in training, the captain occasionally barking orders or telling them how wrong they were doing it. She smiled. She actually missed that a little bit.

Just at that moment, Eren caught sight of her and waved, smiling happily. She chuckled and gave a small wave back. Immediately, Levi turned his attention to the window, curious as to what was distracting Eren and his eyes met Illyria’s for the first time in almost a week. Illyria felt her heart skip a beat and she quickly lowered her hand, not wanting to get into trouble for distracting Levi’s training. His firm expression lifted ever so slightly, though his eyes narrowed as he turned his attention back to Eren.

“Jaeger! Thirty laps, now!” Eren’s shoulders slumped as he took off, following the captains orders and Illyria let out a small laugh. The raven haired man below looked back up to her, giving her a slightly disapproving look and she turned away quickly, continuing her work on his office. She was still very angry at the captain, regardless of whether she had the right to be or not, it didn’t change the fact that she was.

She didn’t like mind games. She had always prided herself on being upfront and honest. So if he regretted the encounter between them, he should just say so. Just tell her exactly where she stands and stop playing with her. Instead he was sending mixed signals. One minute letting his guard down just a bit, the next forcing her away. She had managed to avoid him all week, but that would come to an end when she had to resume training.

She quickly finished up the rest of his quarters, giving his office, bedroom and bathroom the same thorough treatment before she left, double checking to make sure it would adhere to his high standards before she made her way to Hanji's ‘lab’ to aid her there.

She decided to go down for dinner that night. She couldn’t avoid everyone forever, and the sooner she got back into the swing of things the better. She was determined to not let the captain affect her anymore. He had been on her mind all week, she had been wracking her brain, trying to figure everything out and had resigned to the fact that she would never understand him. She doubted he even understood himself at times.

She sat down at her usual table and was greeted by smiles and words of love from her friends. Eren asked how she was feeling, Sasha asked if her wounds were healing okay, Historia asked if she was coping with her duties. It helped lift her spirits to know she had such caring friends.

“So, Sasha’s birthday is coming up...” Eren said, nodding to the woman at the other end of the table who was busy stuffing her face with food.

“The commander has said we can have a little celebration. You’ll be there, won’t you?” he directed his question at Illyria and she smiled.

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Armin smiled gently at her and Eren started to talk excitedly about the night coming up. It was rare for the survey corps to have a reason to celebrate, birthdays and Christmas being the main occasions, and as many soldiers rarely lasted the first year, birthdays were quite rare.

Illyria settled into the atmosphere, listening to the conversations around her, her mind elsewhere. Tomorrow she would resume training. It would be her first day back. Her wounds, though still very fresh, were healing quite well, and she was fit enough to continue training.

She had mixed emotions about it. She was apprehensive about being in the captains company again, but she was excited to get things back to normal. The distance that she had tried to create over the last week had been needed. She had been able to collect her thoughts a bit more. Though she still didn’t understand his intentions and reasons for his changeable personality, she had told herself to not overthink it too much. It was what it was. What happened, happened. There was no point in holding on to it and trying to evaluate something that had just happened on a whim. Just a spur of the moment thing.

She had tried all sorts of possible explanations. Maybe this had been his intention all along? To take what he wanted and then be done with it. A sort of cleansing of his system. Maybe she just happened to be there. Maybe if it had been anyone else, he would have reacted the exact same way. Maybe not. Maybe he acted that way towards her because she happened to be something he wanted. Something convenient at the time. But a lot of her reasons didn’t make a lot of sense. When she tried to brush it off, that nagging voice in the back of her head reminded her that the captain was a very careful man. She was reminded of all the girls during training who had swooned over him from a distance, some not being as shy about it, and how dismissive and professional he had been at all times. Levi was not the sort of man to show interest in anyone romantically. Well, not that she knew of anyway. But maybe he was just really good at hiding it.

For all Illyria knew he could have had a string of one night stands, a lot of the girls she was in training with were dead now, and the ones who had survived had either found partners in the regiment, or were still swooning over the captain. And she knew from her own first hand experience, that it was quite possible he had slept with any of the women and they had just not told anyone. Kept it a secret. She was guilty of that herself after all. So the likelihood was that she was just another notch on the bed post. Nothing special. Just something that happened in the heat of the moment, something that both of them had wanted at the time, and now that time had passed.

But there was also the fantasist in Illyria who wondered if it really was just nothing. Who wondered if her conclusions were true, and offered alternative fanciful alternatives. Who questioned whether it really was just nothing, who pulled into question every tiny detail and examined it with great scrutiny. He had allowed her to stay in his room. How many others had had that privilege? He had even lay beside her. Had tended to her on a couple of different occasions for very different reasons. He had apologised.

But Illyria had very quickly tried to quash those sorts of unrealistic ideals. She could run circles around herself trying to figure it all out. And she was done with being dizzy.

In the end she had pinned it down to nothing important, that had been easier to contend with than any other alternative.

The next day at training, the captain had instructed her to train with the dummy. Illyria, though disappointed had complied without complaint. She had been looking forward to engaging in an actual sword fight with a real person, she had been excited about returning to training to engage with her friends and catch up from all she had missed in the past week, but apparently, Levi had other ideas.

Illyria swung her sword at the stand, wincing slightly as her sword made impact with the unmoving object, jarring her shoulder slightly. Her left hand rubbed her shoulder a little as she rolled her right one, trying to ease the pain and soothe her stiff muscles.

Levi watched her from a distance, noticing her movements. He had had a feeling that she was not one hundred percent ready to resume full training just yet, and her motions only confirmed his suspicions. Her recent injuries would hinder her ability to move properly in combat, so sending her to fight with the dummy had been the only sensible option. Unless she wanted more injuries inflicted from training. If he had paired her with another cadet, she would need to use her body to dodge attacks, manoeuvre in a way that she hadn’t yet had to do since being hurt. And the likelihood was that she would twist or turn in a way that could hinder her healing.
He had seen her disappointment when he had given his orders, but he was not troubled by it. Regardless of what she thought, he had her interests at heart.

And so Illyria obeyed his request and had taken up training against the dummy.

Illyria, however, was insulted by the captains commands. Her rage bubbling beneath the surface at his insult to her pride. Does he think she isn’t good enough? Is he trying to punish her further? Humiliate her some more? Like he hasn’t done that enough! She was furious. Still she continued, determined to not show her annoyance, not wanting to give the captain reason to engage her in anyway. If she bit her lip, he would leave her alone, he would have no reason to approach her. She could avoid him as long as she didn’t draw attention to herself, which was a challenge itself for Illyria. Trouble seemed to follow her. Still, she could do her best to not cause trouble.

Nevertheless, the captain approached her anyway, watching her form carefully. Illyria ignored him, purposely pretending that he wasn’t even there, though her body grew warm in his presence.

“How are you feeling, Light?” Levi asked as she swung violently at the stand. She pressed her lips together tightly, repressing the glare that was threatening to form in her eyes.

“I’m fine, sir.” She replied cordially, a hint of sarcasm still present despite trying her utmost to remain impassive. If Levi noticed her scorn, he did not respond to it.

“Good. You’ll be training with the dummy all week is that clear?” Illyria released a small huff, her anger intensifying.

“Of course, sir. But can I ask why?” she turned to face him now, stopping her training to confront the captain head on. He was not at all affected by her confrontational attitude, merely twitching his head, eyes hardening slightly.

“Because I said so.” He retorted, turning his back and moving to observe the other cadets. Illyria grit her teeth.

This man was infuriating.

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Aw I feel bad this chapter was so short...
So I'm going to post the next chapter too! Just to give you something interesting!

Vote/comment!

Love you all x