Rupauls drag race season 12 one shots

Body~crysti

Tw: body image, ED and some self harm

       Crystal pov: this has been going on for too long. I hate my body. I don't know what gigi sees. I feel so ugly. All I wear is baggy shit and look like a bum but my girlfriend is so prefect I don't even understand. I hate it. I throw on a huge sweatshirt and shorts. I walk downstairs to meet with my beautiful girlfriend. "You want something to eat?" Gigi asks me. "No I'm not hungry" I say back. Even tho I'm starved. I go to the fridge and take a fat shot of tequila to forget about it then go on the couch to cuddle with Gigi. We drift asleep and I suddenly wake up. I sneak out from behind Gigi and go to the bathroom. I look at myself and I just hate what's looking back at me in the mirror. I haven't eaten in 6 days and it's kinda starting to show. I just wanna be perfect for Gigi. I'm so ugly and I feel useless. I pull my secret blade out from my hiding compartment and leave a fresh mark across my arm. It's so addictive I feel alive. I keep going then I look down. "What did I just do" I think to myself. I hear Gigi get up. I quickly flush my blade and I pull my sweatshirt sleeve down even tho it's still bleeding. "Hey babes can I come in?" Gigi says through the door. "Uh yeah come on in" I say back. She opens the door and I just pretend like nothing happened. Gigi smiles at me then goes in to kiss me. I kiss back and she grabs my wrists. It's a natural reaction SHES always done but this time I wince loud. Gigi looks at me weird then "crystal baby no" comes out of her mouth as I see a few tears form in her eyes. I just look down I can't help but just feel so ashamed at myself for doing this. "I'm sorry... I'm just not perfect enough. You're so beautiful genavive goode. I don't know how you love me" I choke out as I'm crying. "Crystal Elizabeth I love you so much. You're perfect for me. I will always love you. You make me happy and to me you look stunning and perfect. Please don't do this to yourself. Please come to me if you get thoughts baby I can't lose you." She says back crying as well. I melt into Gigi's arms and just cry. I feel so weak and just so useless. We both just hold each other and cry for a good hour. When we're done we go up to bed. I chance into night clothes and get in bed with Gigi. This girl has saved my life. Many of time's.
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476 words
Sorry it's so short I wanted to update:)
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