Beautiful Mess (Book II)

Chapter eighteen

"Anger is the emotion we snatch up to avoid less comfortable feelings-- confusion, fear, sadness."

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•Rae•

Placing the cup of coffee in front of Kyle's mom, I sit next to her on the couch.

Kyle's expression is still replaying in my mind. I wanted to follow him when he stormed out earlier, but I knew he wouldn't listen to me when he was feeling so angry. From the hurt look on his face when he realised what I did, I knew he felt like I betrayed him in the worst way possible. So I decided to leave him be and invited her to come in.

"So, I take it you were the one who sent the text to Shawn?" she says uncertainly.

I look up at her and nod. Earlier when I decided to send that text behind his back, I knew something like this would happen. But even if Kyle would refuse to talk to her or even slam the door on her face, my plan was to follow after her. I knew if I missed that chance I would never be able to meet her. But now that we're sitting next to each other, I can't get a word out.

"Did you two meet in the... institution?" she asks me, her tired eyes studying my face.

I nod again. God I really need to start talking.

She reaches for the cup and cradles it between her palms. "I... I saw you at the funeral. Jessica was there too. How did they find each other?"

"Shawn helped him find her after Kyle got released," I tell her.

She takes a sip from her coffee, but even from the side I can see that she's about to cry. "Is she... um, how is she doing?"

"She's doing great," I assure her. "She's happy."

She nods, and I feel the need to say something else.

"Mrs. Davis--"

"Martha," she corrects me, giving me a small smile.

"Martha," I say, returning her smile. "Don't worry, time will fix everything. They're upset because they think you didn't want them, that you abandoned them. But that's not the truth, is it?"

"No," she says without skipping a beat. "I still love them just as I always did. The last thing I wanted was to abandon them."

As much as I don't want to judge her, I can't help but wonder why a mother would leave her son in a mental institution and never visit him again.

Noticing the look on my face, she sighs and puts the cup back on the table.

"I know what I did was wrong, and there's nothing I can say to justify my actions. But I had my reasons at the time. When Jess ran away, I really did try my best to get her back. I went as far as to stalk her friends in case they meet up with her, but it never happened. I could've tried harder, I shouldn't have given up, but Jim... he said he wouldn't accept her back even if she returned home. He was furious. At that point, I-- I actually didn't want her to come back home. I missed her but I thought she was happy there, you know? Living a better life. I didn't want her to suffer anymore."

"But she was so young, she needed her parents," I can't help but say. So much for not being judgmental.

Thankfully, Martha doesn't seem to mind me stating my opinion. She reaches out to hold my hand, the desperation clear on her face. "I know I was wrong, I'm not trying to make excuses. But please, sweetheart please help me. I'm begging you. I need my children back. Please."

"I--I..."

"Just try to convince them to give me another chance, that's all I'm asking. I'll be a better mom this time, I assure you."