The Bucket List

A Rebel

I came to school by my own today. Walking to school actually, because i got mad at my dad for some reason and i didn't want to be on the same car with him. I really don't understand why i'm such in a bad mood right now. I almost even flip shit at my grandmother for being so annoying. It was one of those days again.

When i got to school everything was normal at first. No drama here and there, no partying and being all loud and noisy here and there and definitely no make out sessions yet. It was a peaceful morning at school. Well, not until i got inside our classroom.

My classmates were screaming profanities at each other. There were boys playing basketball, and Tina was there, just staring at nothing in particular. Her eyes were glossy like she was about to cry. I was about to go near her when James beat me into it.

I wanted to come too, to sit with them and comfort Tina just like what James is about to do. But i couldn't, because i wouldn't know what to do or how to do it. Not only that, i would know something that is supposed to be private. I don't want to hear something Tina doesn't want me to know about. And i'm just scared that maybe Tina doesn't really trust me that much. I'm scared to know the truth.

I watched as James said something i couldn't decipher . He patted Tina on the back as he sat down beside her and said something again. Tina began to say something too and soon tears started streaming down her face.

I frowned and started walking to my seat, placing everything i was holding on the table and sat down. Instead of making my assignment like i had planned in my head a while ago, i turned and looked at James and Tina as James say something again and Tina started to smile a little bit.

Something inside me started to make me feel weird. My heart was thumping a little louder that i could hear it. I gripped the part where the heart is and just stared at the two best friends. Somehow i feel like i'm jealous. Jealous that i could never have someone like James in my life to comfort me through the sad times. I'm Jealous i have no one there for me like James is.

James is someone i like to respect. A best friend i wish i had. I respect him so much because as a best friend, he knows when he is needed, he knows how to be a best friend, he knows how to be someone that everyone needed in their life. I know because i had been observing him since we were at the mall.

"Hey, Tina's crying again." I heard someone said.

I turned around to see a blonde with light make up on her face. She had pimples here and there which was covered a little bit with make up so when you are far you wouldn't realize she has pimples. Her eyes were the shade of blue and grey and she had the most perfectly shaped lips.

"Do you know what's wrong with her Mae?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and leaned on the chair. "I asked her a while ago but she just shook her head and walked away. I think her problem's personal." She said.

I bit my lower lip and turned to look at them again as Mae started to talk with some of my other classmates. James was now saying something maybe a joke, because Tina started to laugh very hard. But it was funny to look at her though. She was laughing yet her eyes were puffy red and her nose was a shade of pink. Like she was laughing yet crying like she was crazy or something. Oh forget it i'm not good at describing.

"Look at James, man, i wish i had someone like him. So caring and all that shit. Tina is one hell of a lucky girl." I heard someone say from behind me.

I sighed and stood up. "Please don't keep talking about them.." I sadly said before walking away leaving the group of girls stunned and lost for words.

I badly need help right now. I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore.

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