Damaged

Joseph

Bright lights and beeping machines had finally been replaced by the silence of the countryside as Joe locked his front door. He placed the empty car seat down on the cold tiled ground and slumped to the floor. His pain began to overflow, breaking down his mental dam that had held back his emotions and the eerie darkness of his house enveloped him into its deeper depths. Sobbing, shaking and shouting, the 21 year old began to pull himself back onto his feat, using the table for support, he stumbled towards the cupboard and grabbed the half empty bottle of red wine, pouring it into his mouth, accepting its numbing qualities as they washed through every cell of his body. He had lost her and he didn't think he could keep him, keep their boy.

Joe was sat on the studio floor, on his phone, waiting for his dance partner to come and join him, she was late, but he didn't mind, he like the early morning quiet lull that falls over this part of outer London at this time. And most of all, he was enjoying his last few moments of freedom before dancing would inevitably diffuse into every waking minute of his life.
The door swung open and Dianne walked in, clearly flustered and aware she was running late "I am so sorry I'm so late Joe, my alarm didn't go off and then the traffic was terrible and then I realised I'd left my breakfast at home and then I left my purse in the café and then I got lost.." the Australian began to rant to Joe
"Hey don't worry, its fine, I was enjoying my freedom if I'm being honest," he joked, hoping to calm the professional dancer down before she had to attempt to teach him how to dance, which would no doubt create much more stress and tension than her already stressful sounding morning.
"Sorry about that rant," Dianne apologised, clearly embarrassed about her stress "I just don't want you to get a bad impression of me I guess, I don't want you to think I don't care because I do. I really do." She continued, being far more honest than she had ever meant to be
"Hey, I wouldn't think that, its only one time," He replied, with great sincerity "But if it happens again Miss Buswell, we'll be having words." He said with mock anger and authority, generating a small but well earned laugh form the professional dancer, her stress somewhat dissipating.
"Alright then Joe, are you ready to jive?" She asked, with great enthusiasm and also a hint of sarcasm
"Never been more ready." He replied, with about as much conviction as a deer in the headlights.

Half 6 rolled around quickly, the dynamic dance partners had jived, filmed VTs and most of all laughed together, which had allowed Joe's nerves to ease ever so slightly.
"Right then, I think we should wrap today up here, I'm knackered so I can only imagine how you feel," Dianne told Joe as she walked towards her bag, Joe just nodded in response, far to out of breath from an 8 step sequence he had just learned than he was willing to admit "I'll see you tomorrow, actually at half 8 this time, and if I'm not, you've got the right to judge me all you want." She continued, before turning around to see Joe still stood in the middle of the studio looking distinctly exhausted "Go and have a bath and a good nights sleep, you'll feel better for it tomorrow trust me." And with that she left the YouTuber with his own thoughts, which were, for the first time in over 5 years, mostly happy ones or at least they weren't completely absorbed by guilt and upset.
The prospective dancer made his way over to the bench in the corner of the room, where his bag and phone were placed alongside his camera, which he had barely used all day. He shoved everything in his bag and left the studio, making his way home.
His muscle relaxed for the first time since his first jive kick of the day as he sunk into his bubble bath, with a cup of tea and some left over curry from a few nights ago.
Before long, his blue eyes were beginning to close against his wish so he climbed back out of his bath, dried himself off and crawled into bed, following his dance partners advice to the word. Before long, his dreams began to chase his thoughts and he slipped off into a deep slumber.

After what felt like only moments, he could hear the infamous beep of his alarm clock, telling him it was time for another day of dancing. With a sigh, he got out of bed, knowing that the longer he snoozed the alarm, the harder he would find getting out of bed. The YouTuber then slipped on his dressing gown and like clockwork, got dressed, grabbed some breakfast and headed out of the door.

By the time he opened the studio door, his dance partner was already there, warming up with some stretches.
"Good morning Dianne." Joe greeted the Australian, before realising she had her earphones in, then an idea popped into his mind.
This was it, this was what Joe Sugg was famous for, he crept towards the professional dancer, aiming to be completely silent, then when he was within touching distance, he grabbed her shoulder with a loud "BOO." The red head screamed in shock before turning around to see the goofy smile of her celebrity and new friend
"Why did you do that you idiot." She shrieked, Joe replied just with a deep belly laugh, one of those laughs that has to give you abs, which was quickly mimicked by the still shocked and adrenalin filled red headed dancer.
After 5 minutes of hysterical laughing, the pair had finally recovered enough to begin to dance again

"Okay Joe can you remember what we did yesterday?" Dianne asked, a look of guilt quickly spread across Joe's face "It's fine if you don't," she continued, sensing that the YouTuber had no recollection of the routine she had began to teach him
"Oh erm, no not really." Joe replied, confirming Dianne's suspicions
"Well them mister YouTube sensation, I think it's about time we get down to work then." She returned, with a grin plastered across her tired looking face, knowing that the phrase 'YouTube sensation' made his skin crawl.
"Don't you dare say that again." He responded, half joking half being deadly serious
"Fine the I'll stick with Joseph then." She said, continuing the joke. But Joe couldn't joke, he couldn't even force a smile, instead, his blood ran cold and his mind began to spiral, into the memories of her. His brain began to retreat back into the darkness that had consumed him for so long
"Can we just stick to Joe." Was all he managed, with a weak smile, trying to pretend he was okay
"Joe works for me," Dianne responded, with the smile that had once been plastered over her faced replaced with clear concern "Are you okay?" She questioned, her tone in voice now much more serious and filled with concern
"I will be, I will be okay, eventually." Was all he said, silence descended on the room, but not the sort of excruciating and uncomfortable silence, more of the comfortable sort of silence, the sort of silence that spoke louder than words. "Can we just start dancing now." The YouTuber asked, hoping to shake off his darker thoughts before he began to dwell too much.
"Yeah sure, but just listen Joe, if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here. I know we barely know each other but I want to help you. Okay?"
"Okay, thank you." Joe said, with gratitude, now feeling a little less alone.