Damaged

Trust

"Joe, its me, please let me in." He could hear his Mum banging on the door, pleading with him to come and open it but he couldn't, his eyes were transfixed on the wall in front of him, and his brain unable to communicate with his body to move. He was lost, in his own house and didn't want anybody else to come and find him. Guilt, anger and devastation occupied every cell of his body, which was wasting away in front of his eyes, replacing the once overwhelming love, hope and excitement that used to course through his blood, infiltrating every fibre of him. He wasn't Joe Sugg anymore, he was just the shell where that man used to reside.

Silence had descended on the apartment despite the hustle of London outside its four walls. The dancing duo were stuck in a silent embrace, held together by emotion, Joe felt lighter, like he didn't have to hide anymore, like all the pressure that had built up within him over the last 7 years had finally been released out into his surroundings. Dianne should have felt heavier, like she was being forced to burden somebody else's weight, but she couldn't help just feeling glad, glad that he had told her and glad that he trusted her with information only a select few of his closest family knew.

"I really should be getting home." The red head sighed, knowing she had training bright and early and that Joe needed to sleep

"Can you stay?" The YouTuber whispered, sounding like a desperate child "Obviously you don't have to if you don't want to, I don't want to force you to do any-"

"No, I'd love to stay if you want be to." Dianne cut of her rambling dance partner, secretly glad he had offered, she didn't really want to get a taxi through London at this time of night anyway

"Thank you." He replied "I just, I don't know," Struggling to phrase what he wanted to express "I feel lonely when I talk about her or think about him, knowing that somebody is here if I need them just makes me feel a little less alone." He admitted shyly, staring at his lap, trying to avoid eye contact. His dance partner just nodded, but remained silent, giving him time to reflect.

"Anyway Joe, you better have a spare toothbrush because I'm definitely not using yours, God knows what could be on there." The Australian joked, trying to lighten the heavy mood that had descended on the living room

"I errmm, I think I do.." He replied, beginning to panic as he realised he had no idea if he did or not

"Hey, I'm just joking, if you don't, I'll share yours or just go without and have some chewing gum in the morning." Dianne reassured, not intending to have panicked the already upset YouTuber that sat next to her.

The pair were ready for bed, after having a cup of tea each and Joe lending his dance partner an oversized top, some shorts and an unused toothbrush he had located in an old suitcase in the spare room, when Dianne decided to tell Joe what was weighing on her mind, realising there were no barriers between them and that she could tell him anything that was worrying her after his revelation

"Hey Joe, I know we're about to go to bed but I need to tell you something, and I need your advice on it if you have any," She began, capturing Joe's attention quickly, he knew he wanted to reciprocate the patient ears of his dance partner that had listened to an not questioned or judged the news he had just shared

"I'd be happy to, should we go back to the sofa?" He replied, with a soft smile pulling the edges of his mouth upwards, Dianne nodded, and the pair who were stood at the bottom of the stairs, on the verge of saying goodnight to one another, walked over to the sofa and resumed their positions

"I'm scared." Dianne began, suddenly feeling nervous about what she was about to share "I'm scared of how I feel about you." She boldly stated, as she stared straight into her dance partners eyes, which looked somewhat panicked "This isn't some crazy declaration of love or even romantic attraction towards you." The professional dancer disclosed to her dance partner "But I feel so strongly towards you, I trust you so innately, and I've never felt like this around anybody else." She continued; her dance partners face had softened from the panic that had descended earlier

"I feel the same." Was all Joe said, completely and whole-heartedly grasping what she meant because he felt it too "I don't think I can ever feel so strongly about someone as I did Nina, but you, you come close." He concluded

"Of course you couldn't, you're not supposed to, she was your person, and I'm sure I'll find my person one day too." The red-head responded, feeling content that she wasn't just going crazy about this, he felt it too

"I've never told that story to anybody. The only people that know are those who knew me then and even they don't know the full story like you do. And I don't know why I told you, I could have just brushed it off what happened earlier, but I was compelled to share it with you, like some other, more powerful force than my own brain needed me to tell you because I trust you." Those last three words lingered in the room, between the pair, who were sat staring into one another's eyes, enjoying the revelation that the other person felt such overwhelming trust too.

"And now we really should go to bed Mr Sugg." Dianne finally broke the silence, knowing that rehearsals would be tough on such little sleep, with the clock already reading 2:30 am.

"I know Miss Buswell, I know." Joe agreed, now slightly resenting the fact she was still his dance teacher

"If you wake up and need somebody to talk to, you know where I am." The Australian reminded her dance partner as she stood up and walked over to the room she had recently learned was Byron's but she would be sleeping in tonight

"Thank you, sleep well." Joe replied softly, finally ending the long and somewhat dramatic evening the pair had had.

With only his thoughts to keep him company, Joe's mind began to wander again as he tried to sleep. Thinking about her and him always left his brain confused and muddled, not knowing how to turn it off. Dianne's revelation also left him somewhat confused, and unable to sleep. She made him feel like Nina had all those years ago, when they first met, that sort of excited and giddy that made his heart beat differently. He knew he could never love Dianne like he had loved Nina, because as amazing as she was and as much as she reminded him of her, she wasn't Nina, and she never would be.

As the YouTuber lay awake, unable to switch his over active brain off, he was unaware that his dance partner was also wide awake, despite the time, with her brain racing too. She felt guilty about what she had declared, she didn't want him to feel as though she had played on his vulnerabilities tonight or that she was insensitive to the subject or tone of what he had told her because that had never crossed her mind, it just felt right to her, to tell him what had been on her mind for the last few weeks, as he had just let her into his deepest truths.

AN- Hi, thank you to everybody who has read and voted so far and and I hope you're all enjoying the story, this is my first Joe and Dianne fanfiction so any tips or ideas you guys have would be great to here.

-R