Just Bite Me Already

Chapter 6

Magnus rolled onto his side and pushed his hand beneath his pillow to watch Alec sleep. He should have been sleeping, himself, but the lack of snores from beside him had his gut clenching.

They had found the bedroom, and the doorway at the back of the throne room, and the hallway, on the way to the bedroom, and lost themselves in each other, over and over again. Then they had both fallen into an exhausted sleep in the bed that they now lay in. But it hadn't taken Magnus long to wake again when he had snuggled up to Alec in his sleep, only to lurch up when he had realized that Alec wasn't breathing.

It had taken Magnus a minute to catch up to why that was and he hadn't been able to get back to sleep since. It was too nerve-wracking not to feel the steady rise and fall of Alec's chest beneath his head.

Reaching out, Magnus brushed the stray hair out of Alec's eyes, watching him sleep. The stillness made him want to gather Alec in his arms and reassure himself that Alec was indeed alive. Alec was able to feign breathing while he was awake but it had stopped when he had fallen asleep. And it was disconcerting as hell. Knowing that it would take some getting used to hadn't made it any easier for sleep to claim him once more.

Magnus couldn't help but cup Alec's cheek, wanting to hold his world in his hand. He loved Alec, more than he thought it was possible to love someone. He had never felt this strongly about anyone in all of his centuries. But it broke his heart that Alec had sacrificed so much for him. Alec had given up his family, his mortality, and his home for him, and he couldn't help but feel a little unworthy of such sacrifices. Barring some horrific accident of fate, Alec would never face the promise of death after a long and happy life.

That thought made him feel even guiltier. Because he was thanking every angel that had ever existed that Alec would never face the long peaceful sleep after his life was over. It would never be over.

Magnus had had mortal lovers in the past and had even held a couple of them in his arms as they had taken their final breaths. He knew that Alec would be beautiful to him, whatever age Alec was. But the thought of Alec - old and grey, putting all of his burdens down and letting go of his hold on life - wasn't something that he could ever have come to terms with. No matter how many times he had told himself that that was a Warlock's lot.

Even now, after all of the years since death had separated Magnus from each of those lovers, he knew where their graves were, had even left a flower on those graves now and then, just to prove that somebody remembered the mark that those people had left on the world.

But he couldn't even imagine a gravestone with Alec's name on it. He couldn't imagine standing beside that vague, non-existent grave in 60, 100, 1000 years, placing a flower there to tell the world that Alec had existed and been loved. He had tried to reconcile that image with his beautiful, loving, alive Alexander more than once in preparation for the day when he would have to say goodbye and failed every time

But he does have a grave. He died to come here, for you. That thought had Magnus' gut twisting. Alec had died to become what he was now. He would have crawled out of a grave to get to Edom.

Scenarios flashed through Magnus' head - as they had been for the last few hours - images of all of the different ways Alec could have done it. Each one was like a knife to his gut. What if it had been painful or drawn out?

Just the thought of it had Magnus' hand tightening its grip, dashing his tears away with the other. He had to tell himself that Alec was there, right next to him, even as he watched Alec sleep. He had to tell himself that Alec would never die again, that he would have an eternity with the beautiful man beside him.