everything i wanted ; Billie eilish

29

The food is finally here, i'm so fucking hungry.
"oh guys I finally named the puppy, he's called shark" Billie announces. I look down at him asleep on my lap. "Hi shark" I say and rub his head.

We all took into the pizza and everything which is actually really good. Vegan food is bomb. It doesn't take us long at all to finish it all.

Now billies uncle is trying to convince her and Finneas to perform one of their own songs each. Finneas is completely down but Billies complaining that her voice is dead.

"Do it bil" I say, putting my hand on her leg. She looks down at my hand and then up to my face smiling.
"Ok fine but what song" she asks everyone. Her auntie and uncle having heard her perform ever so its good experience.

"While you figure it out ill play my song" Finneas agrees bringing his keyboard in the living room and setting two microphones up for him and billie. He sits down and begins playing I lost a friend.

I actually really love this song, i dont tend to hear his songs often but their amazing. I down the rest of the beer patrick gave me and listen in. As soon as Finneas finishes we all clap and cheer drunkly. Billies turn.

She stands up and puts her phone on my lap for me to look after for her. She then takes a seat at microphone and sighs. "Ok so everything I wanted?" she says to her brother who nods. He begins playing the beautiful piano melody, which is so amazingly written. Billie begins singing, echoing the room with her breathiness.

'I had a dream
I got everything i wanted
not what you think
and if im being honest
it might of been a nightmare'

I study her face, watching her squeeze her eyes shut as she hits some notes. The emotion of the song coming right out in her expressions. She looks at her brother and smiles as he looks at her too. Her eyes then go on to me, the love she gives me in her stares is ridiculous. Billies auntie looks at me, noticing the small interaction between us. Clare gives off a confused frown but also raises her eyebrows with surprise, knowing something is going on. I mean i don't even know whats going on so. Billie finishes and resumes her original seat next to me.

"Wait, Lexi why does facebook tell me its your birthday in 2 days" Claudia asks, putting her phone down and looking at me questioningly. Oh fuck yeah.

"If i'm honest, i didn't actually realise it was" I laugh, causing everyone else to also laugh and shake their heads at me.

"Well were going to do something for you, like have a small party, even if its just us" Billie tells me. I turn my head and look at her.

"No no you don't have to do anything its fine" I reply. Im not a big birthday person, i don't like all the attention being on me.

"Lexi, were doing it" Billie says again. Shes not going to give this up, so ill just have to agree. I look into her eyes and nod.

////
Its around 2am now, Clare and her husband are just about to leave.

"Why don't you stay here in Finnea's spare room and Lexi can stay with us?, i don't want you travelling home drunk. Clare nods, stumbling through the room. She has drank a lot if i'm honest. Maggie and Patrick lead her up to bed.

"This is alright with you isn't it" Claudia asks. I nod and smile.

"Of course it is" I reply. Claudia lends me some of her sweatpants, because all my clothes are in the room clares in. I can always use one of Billie's tops anyway.

We say goodbye to everyone and leave the house, piling into Billies car. I sit in the front with Shark on my lap. Music playing quietly out the speakers as we drive through the dark streets of LA. I look at Billie who looks exhausted, i don't blame her to be honest.

After a short drive we finally arrive back at the O'connell house. Maggie and Patrick head straight to bed and I sit in Billie's room waiting for her to sort out her puppy. I quickly change into Claudia's sweatpants and steal a random shirt out of Billie's closet, im sure she wont mind.

A few moments later she comes in and switches on her red lights, turning the white lights off. "That shit was hurting my eyes" she says softly. I notice she must of already changed into different clothes before she came in here.

"That shirt looks cute on you" she smiles, noticing what i'm wearing.

"It's actually really comfy" I admit. Plus it smells exactly like Billie which is comfort as it is.

I watch as she climbs into her bed and pats the spot beside her. Awkwardly, I climb in and pull the bed covers over myself. Its weird how Billie still makes me feel this nervous. I lie on my right side and she turns to face me. She still has so many hicky's on her neck from Isaac, it's disgusting. I think she noticed where I was looking as she tried to pull her shirt over them. I hear her sigh, causing me to look back up at her face.

"What's wrong?" I ask quietly.

"I'm just thinking about how much Issac ruined everything, he ruined what I could of had. He ruined my mental health, my body, my mindset, my freedom everything" She says, her expressions getting angrier.

"I hate how he treated you, but I couldn't stop it" I admit and she nods.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away back on the last tour. Its not what I wanted but i didn't want to hurt you either, I didn't trust myself" She says with a lot of emotion in her voice as she stares at me with her icy blue eyes.

I move forward and place a small kiss on her neck, what Issac has ruined. Luckily the hicky's are fading a lot.

"I'm not going to leave this time" I tell her.

"Me neither" she says and smiles lightly. She places her plump lips on mine quite heatedly and makes out with me for a while. But we are both too exhausted, so we soon stop.

She comes close to me and puts her arm around my waist, burying her head into my neck.

"I love you lex" she whispers against my skin.
"I love you to" I reply, before we both fall asleep.