The End |tk| ✔︎

Progress?

🟥TRIGGER WARNING self harm.🟥 I need to put this because it's something that triggers me too, but I thought it'd be good to showcase that this is a deal thing people, like myself, have dealt with.

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The next few weeks were quite awkward to say the least.

After Jungkook told Taehyung to leave him that night, the two hadn't spoken to one another since.

Taehyung had gotten much closer with the others though.

He helped Jin in the kitchen, trying to learn how to make toast without burning the house down.

He played games with Hoseok and took trips to the library with Yoongi and Namjoon, the others tagged alone begrudgingly too.

He watched Envy from afar with kind eyes.

He tried to speak with him on many occasions, getting ignored completely.

Until one day when he found the boy also known as Jimin sitting alone in a secluded area of the indoor garden, a place Taehyung had started to frequent often.

When Jimin senses his presence his stood abruptly, making to leave before Tae stopped him.

"I'm just here to see the new blooms. Chrysanthemums right?" Taehyung gestured to the beautiful flowers which had just begun to bloom.

Jimin sat back down slowly, nodding silently as he watched the other "ooh" and "ahh" over the flora.

And so that how they spent the afternoon, Taehyung asking questions about the plant life, and Envy nodding or shaking his head, with the occasional eye roll.

Taehyung hadn't seen Jungkook since they last spoke. The ravenette had locked himself in his room to "think". Telling Taehyung he just needed some time everytime the blonde came knocking at his chambers.

So Taehyung sat in his room, wondering if he'd pushed the other too far.

A lot of things had gone unsaid.

Jungkook had explained his backstory but hadn't even begun to explain his own current story or feelings.

Taehyung had explained his current feelings and turmoil but hadn't begun to explain his backstory, and how he's not the "pure" man Jungkook thought he was.

He felt ashamed of his past, working in the way he did.

He felt dirty.

He had tried everything in his power to purge the memories of his nightly encounters for money. But nothing worked.

No matter how much he washed and bathed, there seemed to be an invisible layer of grime hiding just beneath his skin.

He was disgusted with himself.

He was even more disgusted with the fact he was trying to help Jungkook, while hating himself.

How could he have the audacity to tell someone else how to live when he pretended to be someone else.

Taehyung stares at his reflection with disdain.

"You're a liar." He spits at himself.

"How dare you feel bad for yourself, you're living the most luxurious lifestyle, you're rich, you're praised, you're providing for your sister... you have no right to feel bad for yourself." He whispers, trying to convince himself his life was perfect now.

Highly functioning depression.

When the world around you has been cruel, but you survived. So you believe you are no longer allowed to feel the weight of your past through sadness.