Angel- lil peep

2

18 days since gus passed

Cleo

Today was the day of gus's memorial, Liza has made sure to live stream it for people who can't be there and i've made sure that everyone in my house knows to not disturb my for the next hour.

It started with gus's grandma reading a poem and reading out some messages from fan's from across the world. Then it was Liza and i cried my whole way through her speech I can't imagine the pain she must be feeling

"My sweet little peeper is gone now but he has surely left us with some wonderful materials to review and consider. He has left me with new people to know, i'm so proud of him you have no idea" her voice broke as she spoke

They played a sweet montage of videos of him when he was a baby and him growing up he was the cutest baby his big brown eyes are eyes you can never forget. I watched the videos and pictures come up on the screen and i smiled so hard with tears streaming out of my eyes, I can't believe that this is actually happening i never would of thought that i would be sat here watching this take place in front of me and of course Blink-182 'i miss you' was playing in the background one of gus's favourite bands

After the video ended Emma came on stage, her and Gus were friends since school they loved each other so much. They were soulmates and they still are

Emma talked about their friendship and how gus would always make fun of her ex boyfriends when they first met.

The way she was talking about him you could tell that he meant alot to her and she meant alot to him.

"Gus i don't know if this will ever get easier, but i know through guidance i can make it through we all will, theres an empty hole in my heart but with every beat i can feel you shining through it" i grabbed a tissue to wipe my tears and blow my nose. "You're my soulmate and souls never die, you live through me he lives through all of us"

After the live stream had finished i was a wreck, i was crying non stop. My mum came into check on me but left after i told her i was fine, i've always been a big fan of lil peep ever since he started rapping 'trap goose' was the good days.

I had gone through two boxes of tissues during the whole livestream, i thought i would of gone through more to be honest.

I walked downstairs to see my mum and dad sat around the island in the kitchen both looking concerned.

"What?" I asked walking into the kitchen to put the empty tissue boxes into the bin.

My parents have never really been that supportive of me, they're more focused on their jobs and earning money. I get it they want to put a roof over our heads and food on our plates and i'm not ungrateful at all i love them to bits but when it comes to family time they don't really know how to spend time with me it always ends in a conversation about their work or they have to go and take a 'business call'

Don't get me started on what they think about me lets just say i'm not their ideal daughter. When i was younger my mum would dress my up in dresses and buy me all pink stuff but as i grew older i began to dress more boy like. Switching dress and skirts to trousers and jeans, I'm basically the opposite daughter that they had ever wanted and i know that they're never going to admit that but i know its the truth.

They don't like me listening to the type of music i listen to either, when i had asked my dad to go and see peep in santa ana which was the last date on his tour he immediately said no without any consideration.

"We're concerned for you Cleo" my mum said turning to me grabbing my dads hand next to her

"Why, i'm fine" i said shrugging my shoulders

"Sweetie you barely haven't left your room since lil pump died" my dad said making me roll my eyes

"Wow can tell you pay alot of attention to what i say" i said walking towards the fridge and grabbing the blueberries out

"It's lil peep honey" my mum said "what we're trying to say Cleo is that we're here for you to talk to, i know we haven't spent alot of time together recently because of our jobs but we've had a long discussion and from now on both of us are going to put all of our efforts into you"

"I'm your daughter there shouldn't have to be a discussion about putting your efforts into me, if you loved your job more than me maybe you should of put me up for adoption 18 years ago" i nearly shouted before walking back up the stairs

I've been fine these past 18 years what makes them think that i need them now just when i'm turning into an adult.

I lit up a pre rolled joint from out of my draw and started smoking it. I also threw a couple of xans into my mouth just to kick it off

Hey everybody i hope you understand what this is about, i know it seems really boring at the moment but give it a couple more chapters and it will start to get interesting.