polar opposites (jikook)

talked it out

((A/N: look.....if you don't like this ff then please don't read it, please don't think you have to comment on the chapter to say how much of a 'weirdo' I am...and how horrible I am for writing rape,self-harm,abuse .ect. like it's nothing!!
No you're wrong!!
The reason I started this FF was to get the point across that even if something horrible happens to you then there is a light at the end...yes there are obstacles in the way but you can't just have a happy life because that's not how life works!! Life fucking sucks for many people and some people just have to cope with it and people go through this stuff everyday!!
I know it's horrible that I wrote about rape,abuse .ect. but trust me when I say I was balling my eyes out while writing it! Because I KNOW what it's like to be abused, to be raped, almost forced to have a child at a young age!!
Every morning when I wake up and see myself in the mirror I am reminded of the disgusting things I was forced to do! And how I have to fake a smile so nobody is worried!
I have scars all over my body from my past and each one represents a different story that isnt a nice one to hear!
I've been a fan of BTS for about 6 years and if it wasn't for them, then there would be no fanfictions at all from this account because I wouldn't be here!
When I became a fan of BTS I made friends! I felt like I was part of something, I felt like I was part of a family! And I was!....at least I thought I was...but it turns out that maybe I'm better off alone...
I lost loads of friends because of a ship...my own parents chucked me out of my own home...I now live with my two friends, the only two friends I have that accept me for me...everyone else says I'm a disappointment and shouldn't be alive and all the hate I'm getting is making me think they're right...
I love writing these fanfics and i love how people respond to them nicely and respond to what the character's are doing or saying but then I see some responses that are mean and hate towards what I am writing about and that puts my mood down...
I hate the fact that people get raped and abused so please don't think I think it's okay because I write about it...and Apparently I write about it 'easily' that's wrong, I was sat there for a whole day before I could publish that chapter because I was crying so much because it brought back memories about what happened to me...pretty much everything in this ff ((except for the kid and wolf things)) has happened to me in real life,I have been raped,abused,I have anxiety and depression, my ex left me for my best friend and now they have a kid together, I have moved away from my home town and haven't been back in years...and I have tried to take my life, I still self-harm to this day and everyday I think about what happened to me...and Evey day I am disgusted to even look at myself...I had to take down all mirrors in my house because every time I looked at one I'd see my scar across my cheek and it would bring back memories...
In all honesty I even struggled to write this because there are tears blurring my vision....
But out of all of this:
If you don't wanna read the FF then click off...what you say could make the author feel horrible...and it does

You can think this is all for attention but I know what happened to me and it will haunt me for the rest of my life...

Sorry for ranting,I had to get that off my chest))
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Jungkooks pov

I keep my gaze on jimin as he has tears rolling down his cheeks "I'm sorry jungkook...I know no matter how many times I say I'm sorry you won't forgive me..I've fucked up to many times...you deserve better than me"
I look at yoongi who sighs and looks away, young-jae runs to jimin and touches his nose with his own