Realizations Of A Woman

My Weakness

I get sad a lot when I think about the things I wasn't able to do. It could be for family, friends, work, church or for God. Things like that just weakens me and in a matter of minutes, I sit blankly on the sofa, staring at nothingness. It was as if the aliens took my brain away and I start drooling on the surface. But am kidding. The point is, I get sad. I am an over-thinker and I remember telling this to our Region Head during my final interview for work. He asked, "How do you overthink?" I replied, "Well sometimes because I am a bit observant too, if I feel like I don't make that person happy, satisfied or he or she started acting out differently towards me, I overthink." Then he replied, "Have you tried asking?" I answered with a sigh, "No, I haven't. I always end up eaten by my thoughts that are never ending." He smiled and chuckled. Then he said, "How do you overcome it then?" I put a wide smile on my face and looked at him calmly, "I usually tell myself to do better next time. Give myself a tap on the shoulder. Pray to God and ask for His help." He gave me a gentle smile while nodding.

It's my weakness. I overthink a lot to the point I become tired with myself. I get to do something done perfectly but then end up thinking if it was really perfect? This goes on for days actually. It's the reason why when I hurt someone or get hurt, I don't forget it easily. I remember it—even every detail of it. Yet, this sort of weakness is God's source of strength for me. I realized that I was learning 'godly sorrow'. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 7:10 and 11 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter." Godly sorrow produces something good in me. It reminds me to do the things that should only please God and not myself (that causes worldly sorrow).

I realized then, my weakness is always used by God for His glory.