After the rebellion | Part 1

Chapter 5

-Peeta

I finally managed to drift back into a sleep after waking up thinking about her. It took some time but I managed to do it.

I woke up again at 5 am, this time wasn't because I was thinking about Katniss, and this was actually hearing her, hearing her screaming at the top of her lungs. Screaming something about being sorry, and that it's all her fault, screaming her sister's name asking for forgiveness. I couldn't really here anything after that as it turned into muffled screams and endless sobs.

Considering she lives 25 yards, to be exact, away from me it's strange of how much I can actually here from her house. I hope she can't hear me when I'm having a nightmare of one of my flashbacks. That would be awful.

Why was she screaming? Is there something wrong with her? What's going on? Did she and her boyfriend have an argument this morning? Did they break up? Does she love me?

These questions keep replaying in my mind, there's no way to get rid of them so I let them wander around my head freely. I think of scenarios where it could have ended better. I should have never left her side in the Quarter Quell and should've gone with her and the wire. At least then we would still be together, even if the games were still going on. We'd have each other and that would be enough for me, just to have her. I think of all different scenarios over and over again in my head until it gets too much to handle and I force my eyes shut. and drift off into another sleep.

Sleep finally took me into a deep dream, not nightmare, where everything is happy until he's stood there. President Snow is stood there and in his hand is a syringe full of tracker jacker venom. The injection he has been giving me every day since they captured me and took me to the Capitol and kept me hostage.

Every time he puts the syringe into my arm it makes me think of Katniss, always Katniss;

 She's a mutt.

She never loved me.

It was all an act.

She never meant it when she said she needed me.

She killed my family.

She killed everyone I loved.